Dealing with a noisy neighbor

Want to get some thoughts before I take any action.
I have a neighbor who is causing a lot of stress with my family right now. I have 2 boys (4 and 2) who are typical hyper full of energy kids. My wife is a stay at home mom and I usually dont head to work until the afternoons so we are around in the mornings. We also live in a townhome with shared walls. When my boys run around, play, laugh, scream, typical boy things we feel the instant need to correct or curb their behavior because we fear our neighbor will turn up his music and rattle our walls with bass out of spite for my kids. He has even gone as far as accusing us a abusing our kids (which we would never) without any proof other than noise. Our kids noises dont last but a few seconds or minutes, but when he fires up the bass it can last anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours. He claims he works from home as well, he's either a day trader or a pot dealer, not quite sure which at this point. All communication attempts fall on deaf ears, from texts to phone calls to knocks on the door. My neighbors on the other side dont ever complain about our noise levels and the neighbors on his other side can hear the same things we do. Ive thought about writing a letter to our HOA but I feel like they wont do anything and Im two seconds away from just calling the cops but dont really want to waste their time on a noise complaint. We cant afford to move at this very moment but honestly think about taking a loss on the house and renting just so we can get away and let our kids be kids. Believe me Ive thought about just pounding on the walls or getting some kind of revenge but my wife keeps advising against it because she doesnt want to give him any kind of leverage. Anyone have any similar experiences or advice?
Thanks!

Soundproof your adjoining wall(s).
http://www.soundproofingcompany.com/...roofing-walls/

Let you neighbor know you are doing it in order to reduce the noise level he is subjected to. He will probably appreciate the effort and be less likely to complain about any future noise.

Ignore him. If he turns up his bass look up your cities noise complaint laws and if he's breaking them call him in. Otherwise keep ignoring it.

I've got lots of noise stories.

Call the police every time for documentation, then approach the HOA.

Complain to the HOA that the walls were insufficiently sound-proofed. Get your noisy neighbor and the one on his opposite side to do the same.... get the whole neighborhood to have a more general conversation about the shotty walls and hopefully something can be done that way.

Documentation and lots of it: times/duration of noise, attempts to reconcile face to face.
Have video of any f-t-f dealings and sound recordings from inside your home if possible.
Many Police Departments have a 'community relations offier' so as not to waste the patrol officers time.
Also document any interactions with the HOA - they should care about this.
I know it can be counter-productive to have to keep logs and stuff, kinda makes it worse to deal with.
Had a situation with a neighbors barking basset, sad to say I ended up moving, it can be very detrimental to quality of life.
Hope this helps a bit - God Luck!

Or maybe keep your kids quiet? Ever think of that?

A Google search for HERF devices might be fruitful...

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 4

Kill him with kindness. Buy your neighbor a nice set of sound proofing headphones as a peace offering if you can't keep the kids to normal kid levels?

Contact the HOA and the police. All else fails move.

Nature of living in a shared environment. You expect others to tolerate your "typical" noises but have little tolerance for theirs? Having kids doesn't give you a pass, learn to coexist or find a place that better suits your mindset.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by funkymonkey1111

Or maybe keep your kids quiet? Ever think of that?

---

Well someone had to say it....

Sent from my teepee using smoke signals.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by funkymonkey1111

Or maybe keep your kids quiet? Ever think of that?

---

Yes you're right, a 2 year old and a 4 year old boy should be kept in check. No noise, no playing, nothing but contemplative study of War and Peace and the WSJ.

You're an ass.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Whistler

Nature of living in a shared environment. You expect others to tolerate your "typical" noises but have little tolerance for theirs? Having kids doesn't give you a pass, learn to coexist or find a place that better suits your mindset.

---

You are also an ass. How would you like me to move in next door to you and play music so loud that the bass shook your walls for hours on end?

Geez people, do you guys really hate kids THAT much that you're advice is "Shut your stupid kids up or move the hell away?" I mean damn...these are LITLLE BOYS. Little boys make noise sometimes. The OP even says when they start to make noise...they TRY AND CORRECT IT IMMEDIATELY SO AS TO NOT BOTHER THE NEIGHBORS. The OP sounds like he's doing his job...and he has a neighbor that seems extremely similar to you two.

Makes me blood boil...

You're coming to the net for advice. You're going to get it all... When I was in an apt I'd turn up the tv as to not hear my neighbors kids... Maybe it's his choice.

If it bothers you call the cops. You're not going to work out a peaceful solution till he gets a notice... Then continue to do it. Then contact the hoa


Sent by a free-range electronic weasel, with no sense of personal space.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PugnacAutMortem

Yes you're right, a 2 year old and a 4 year old boy should be kept in check. No noise, no playing, nothing but contemplative study of War and Peace and the WSJ.

You're an ass.



You are also an ass. How would you like me to move in next door to you and play music so loud that the bass shook your walls for hours on end?

Geez people, do you guys really hate kids THAT much that you're advice is "Shut your stupid kids up or move the hell away?" I mean damn...these are LITLLE BOYS. Little boys make noise sometimes. The OP even says when they start to make noise...they TRY AND CORRECT IT IMMEDIATELY SO AS TO NOT BOTHER THE NEIGHBORS. The OP sounds like he's doing his job...and he has a neighbor that seems extremely similar to you two.

Makes me blood boil...

---

And my music happens to make noise.... that's what music does.

Kids don't get a free pass on the noise thing. Neither do animals.

Nature of the beast. Deal with it.

Sent from my teepee using smoke signals.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JM Ver. 2.0

And my music happens to make noise.... that's what music does.

Kids don't get a free pass on the noise thing. Neither do animals.

Nature of the beast. Deal with it.

Sent from my teepee using smoke signals.

---

Never said kids did. So you think 45 minutes to 2 hours of music with wall shaking bass is fair to do in exchange for a minute or two of children laughing and playing loudly?

http://oi52.tinypic.com/21472xe.jpg

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PugnacAutMortem

Never said kids did. So you think 45 minutes to 2 hours of music with wall shaking bass is fair to do in exchange for a minute or two of children laughing and playing loudly?

---

Neighbors and parents have different definitions of "loud" kids. I would bet, if you ask the neighbor, that the kids are constantly loud when they are home and I sometimes I have to play my music for a little bit so I don't hear them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PugnacAutMortem

Yes you're right, il...

---

Glad you acknowledge it. You want your kids to act like shits, move somewhere they don't impose on their neighbors. If the kids weren't making noise, I suppose the neighbor wouldn't turn his music up. Pretty simple cause and effect.

Start documenting it. That's the most important thing for whatever your next step is.

Turn on the video camera preferably. Show how loud it is. Show you going over and knocking on the door and him not answering. Let it run, make sure you show a clock from time to time to document the time - preferably a cell phone clock (not that they can't be changed, but are far more likely to be accepted as accurate).

Get recordings of multiple instances. Dates, times, all recorded.

AFTER you have at least two, preferably three incidents recorded, you can either go to the HOA, and/or go to the cops, and/or come back here with the data for another pass through groupthink to get a second opinion. But no matter what, start by getting it recorded. Otherwise it's your word against his.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by funkymonkey1111

Glad you acknowledge it. You want your kids to act like shits, move somewhere they don't impose on their neighbors. If the kids weren't making noise, I suppose the neighbor wouldn't turn his music up. Pretty simple cause and effect.

---

I would bet a whole bunch of dollars your definition of kids acting like shits is WAY off base. I can guarantee that you don't have any little kids of your own, let alone a little boy. It's asshats like you who can't tell the difference between kids being little shits and them just being little kids. Now don't get me wrong, all little boys are little shits sometimes (my boy included). But when people like you start categorizing kids playing as them being little shits, that's where you become completely wrong. Frankly, your opinion on any kid related matters is going to be inaccurate, uninformed, and pretty much flat out stupid, and you should keep said opinions to yourself.

Thanks for all the advice, both positive and negative. We have documented many cases but recording the sounds doesnt come through on camera because its such a low vibration. Ive written a notice to my HOA formally filing a complaint and Ive asked several board members about what they can do and they just say call the cops. Ive tried to be diplomatic about it but I guess its time for the kid gloves to come off.

To those who say just shut up my kids, I openly invite you over to my house to see how well that works. You have to remember, little kids have lots of energy and strong impulses that includes screaming, crying, laughing and yelling...you all have done it before just ask your moms.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by funkymonkey1111

Glad you acknowledge it. You want your kids to act like shits, move somewhere they don't impose on their neighbors. If the kids weren't making noise, I suppose the neighbor wouldn't turn his music up. Pretty simple cause and effect.

---

Just wow... sad to see people like this are on the forum. I know the OP asked for "advice" on how to deal with the problem, BUT he did not ask for his children to be called foul names and for the record...NO, blaring loud music does not equal the noise caused by children. I've been the "other" neighbor where people's children were just being children. They are sometimes loud and sometimes parents don't care which causes it to get a bit excessive. I've taken the responsible route and spoke with the parents who were actually quite nice about it - problem solved-. As I didn't expect the noise to come to a complete halt, I understood it is important to let kids be kids. I'm sure the OP and his wife have talked about making an effort to help curb any issues on their end. If people like you can't be respectful when referring to children, I hope pancreatic cancer finds you rather swiftly. That also goes for anyone else badmouthing fellow forum member's children.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PugnacAutMortem

your opinion on any kid related matters is going to be inaccurate, incorrect, and pretty much flat out stupid, and you should keep said opinions to yourself.

---

Perhaps you should take your own advice, especially since you don't know the level of noise the kids create or what the other guys hears. Likewsie I'm sure you don't know the level of noise your own kid creates on a plane, in a restaurant, or anywhere else in public, too, since you likely suffer from breeder deafness (as a nice complement to your blindness to cause and effect). So no, I don't think I'll keep my opinions to myself.

I'm not a kid hater .. really I'm not ....


But any noise out of a kid your not related to .. is annoying. ( unless it is a 1 and under's laugh... who can't smile at that?)

I'm just sayin.....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeeze

Just wow... sad to see people like this are on the forum. I know the OP asked for "advice" on how to deal with the problem, BUT he did not ask for his children to be called foul names and for the record...NO, blaring loud music does not equal the noise caused by children. I've been the "other" neighbor where people's children were just being children. They are sometimes loud and sometimes parents don't care which causes it to get a bit excessive. I've taken the responsible route and spoke with the parents who were actually quite nice about it - problem solved-. As I didn't expect the noise to come to a complete halt, I understood it is important to let kids be kids. I'm sure the OP and his wife have talked about making an effort to help curb any issues on their end. If people like you can't be respectful when referring to children, I hope pancreatic cancer finds you rather swiftly. That also goes for anyone else badmouthing fellow forum member's children.

---

Equally sad to see folks like you that simply couldn't care less how much noise is made when "sometimes parents don't care which causes it to get a bit excessive." You sound a bit like a helicopter parent that simply could not ever consider the fact that not everybody wants to hear loud children or that their kids could do no wrong. OP has clearly shown who is in control of the situation with the statement "To those who say just shut up my kids, I openly invite you over to my house to see how well that works. You have to remember, little kids have lots of energy and strong impulses that includes screaming, crying, laughing and yelling..."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeeze

If people like you can't be respectful when referring to children, I hope pancreatic cancer finds you rather swiftly. That also goes for anyone else badmouthing fellow forum member's children.

---

Soooo....it's OK to wish pancreatic cancer on a person but not ok to call kids "little shits?" Simply amazing.

We have a family about 60 yards down the street with at least 2 children who are permanent residents and then he has 3 more from previous hook-ups that will show up for days on end. These kids (brats? Maybe.) are the loudest noise polluters for miles around. They make it nearly unbearable to hang outside during the summer evenings. It is a quiet neighborhood save for the screaming. The parents are right there with them, but are completely oblivious to the noise level they produce. It is beyond annoying, but it is not illegal, just rude.



I wish they would rent elsewhere so the rest of us home owners could enjoy the neighborhood peace and quiet like we did before they moved in. However, I would not ever blame the kids as they are just doing whatever their parents let them do. Typical parenting of these days; never say no, never discipline, let the kids decide what they do, or eat, or say. My kids are angels no matter what, and you're the asshole.


I would say to the OP, deal with it unless the neighbor is breaking a law. Make friends with him if at all possible, because he will likely put up with more of your shit, while subjecting you to less of his.

[Pop]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Special Ed

Soooo....it's OK to wish pancreatic cancer on a person but not ok to call kids "little shits?" Simply amazing.

---

Yep. I have no room for people who have no respect for other people's chldren. Also, let me add, children will act out and be disruptive as long as the parents allow it...whether they care or not. The issue is with the parent, not the children, so take up the gripe with the responsible party.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeeze

Yep. I have no room for people who have no respect for other people's chldren. Also, let me add, children will act out and be disruptive as long as the parents allow it...whether they care or not. The issue is with the parent, not the children, so take up the gripe with the responsible party.

---

Boy, that one's going to keep me up at night. I mean, I come on here and expect everyone to like me and now this happens. I just don't know what I'll do if this guy isn't my friend.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by funkymonkey1111

Boy, that one's going to keep me up at night. I mean, I come on here and expect everyone to like me and now this happens. I just don't know what I'll do if this guy isn't my friend.

---

[ROFL3]

I say sell the children and use the proceeds to hire a hit man to whack the neighbor.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ray1970

I say sell the children and use the proceeds to hire a hit man to whack the neighbor.

---

Very soft market for kids these days. 2-3 years ago you could off them to anyone for good market value. Now. they could be in shopping carts left in walmart for days and no one would give them a second look.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Squeeze

Yep. I have no room for people who have no respect for other people's chldren. Also, let me add, children will act out and be disruptive as long as the parents allow it...whether they care or not. The issue is with the parent, not the children, so take up the gripe with the responsible party.

---

So apparently we've just learned that funkymonkey is not some other person's child because otherwise you would be saying that you have no respect for yourself and have also, by your own words, wished pancreatic cancer upon yourself. I can't believe you'd wish cancer on yourself after you've shown so much concern for others here today.

The police department will do nothing to help your ongoing problem besides responding to your/his noise complaints, you need to go to your HOA.

In an effort to avoid personal attacks over an issue I hold dear to my heart (children), I'll leave this comment.

It's apparent there are several members with a genuine dislike, possibly even hatred for children. Maybe they were born that way, maybe it's because no woman will let them impregnate them, who knows. I don't like kids who are bratty any more than the next guy, but there is a big difference in bratty kids, and kids just being kids. Some of you have even gone as far to state you dislike anything coming out of childrens mouths or something to that effect. Simply amazing!

Oh yeah...on topic.....

I think this boils down to respect. Your neighbor believes you (your kids) are showing him a lack of respect for making what he considers to be excessive noise. He therefore returns the perceived disrespect by showing you the same lack of respect. I think that the HOA and police are only going to make things worse. He may stop after being admonished by one or the other (or both) but the seed of anger will likely only germinate and sprout stronger than ever (hopefully still non-violently).

The only way to fix this is to restore the sense of respect on both sides of the wall. Sure, it's easier said than done but once accomplished, it'll have longer lasting effects, and positive ones at that. Perhaps a 6-pack of whatever on his porch with a note requesting a conversation at a neutral location so you can try to work through it will get the ball rolling.

The PMS is high today.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by hurley842002

In an effort to avoid personal attacks over an issue I hold dear to my heart (children), I'll leave this comment.

It's apparent there are several members with a genuine dislike, possibly even hatred for children. Maybe they were born that way, maybe it's because no woman will let them impregnate them, who knows. I don't like kids who are bratty any more than the next guy, but there is a big difference in bratty kids, and kids just being kids. Some of you have even gone as far to state you dislike anything coming out of childrens mouths or something to that effect. Simply amazing!

---

Agreed.