Ahhh The Joys of apartment living.

To the late 50's heavily accented man that I met this evening on the elevator in which i pressed the button for the 4th floor for you, the same man that had a large box truck full of new ikea bedroom furnishings. This elevator ride was informative as you excitedly described the Swedish engineering superiority that your precious cardboard boxes posses. And your poorly contained excitement to assemble them as soon as you got all of them upstairs was cut short by my arrival to the 3rd floor.


Had I not met you this evening I would have many reasons to assume an adult water buffalo has moved into the apartment above me. For the crashes and thumping are I can only imagine strikingly similar to a cloven hoofed beast forcing its way to the watering hole.




go the fuck to sleep.

Give him a hand with your air tools. Turn that personal discomfort into an uncomfortable party for everyone else!

Desk pop anyone? [Coffee]

Good thread. :)

Had my fill of apartment living after college. I worked graveyard shift and my upstairs neighbor was a heel walker that enjoyed rap "music". I swear I could shoot through my ceiling and get hits at anytime.

I hope to never have to share walls/ceilings/floors ever again.

Sent from my Galaxy S7 Edge using Tapatalk.

I've been very fortunate. I haven't had to live in an apartment since the 70s. Of course, I spent some time in the barracks during my early military years. If I had to put up with some of the horrible neighbors I've heard about on this forum I'd be in prison...pretty sure. Possibly on death row.

Sounds much like my hotel mates when I travel.

HTF do these people make so much noise stomping around up there?

Sounds like it's time to point your speakers up at the ceiling and play your favorite war movies as loud as you can. Invite the Swede to a marathon of America saving the world and European ineptness like "A Bridge Too Far", "Patton", "Band of Brothers", etc. Point out to him that the original Star Trek crew had an Iowa farm boy in the center seat, a Kentucky gentleman doctor as the chief medical officer, a Scot in charge of Engineering, a Russian at helm and even an alien as science officer but not one damned Swede -- or Frog, for that matter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jRejBVcB_g

If I could afford a house in this shit market, I wouldn't be living in an apartment either. Fortunately I live in a really nice complex and my neighbors above me aren't complete twat waffles.

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Originally Posted by Squeeze

If I could afford a house in this shit market, I wouldn't be living in an apartment either. Fortunately I live in a really nice complex and my neighbors above me aren't complete twat waffles.

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If I could afford an apartment in this shit market, I wouldn't be living with my parents.

DF, ya blew it.
You had the prime subject matter for a rant of epic proportions.
Instead you reduced yourself to mild whining.

You are awarded no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

OK...now I'm trying to picture what a "twat waffle" would look like.

Imagine him doing this

https://youtu.be/b9cBSA-cbNw

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Originally Posted by Bailey Guns

OK...now I'm trying to picture what a "twat waffle" would look like.

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Probably something I shouldn't google while I am at work.... :confused:

I think that's what truffle butter is spread on.

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Originally Posted by Irving

I think that's what truffle butter is spread on.

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Or Fumunda Cheese...

[ROFL1]

You guys never disappoint.

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Originally Posted by DFBrews

go the fuck to sleep.

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I can't believe nobody else has posted this yet [LOL]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Udj-o2m39NA

My daughter reads that book to her cousin.

Kwando, your vid made me laugh out loud.. The music is perfect!

http://youtu.be/4IRB0sxw-YU


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If you want we can trade... The downstairs neighbor bumps their hippity hop bullshit on the weekends to the point we hear mostly bass. Two neighbors have more money invested in the sound system of their crappy cars than in the cars themselves, and one has a '96 Eagle Talon he thinks is fit for the next Fast and Furious movie except that the belt squeals like a dying animal. But we have seen a $50,000 increase in equity in our condo since buying it in 2014... Thanks Lowry!

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Originally Posted by Aloha_Shooter

Sounds like it's time to point your speakers up at the ceiling and play your favorite war movies as loud as you can. Invite the Swede to a marathon of America saving the world and European ineptness like "A Bridge Too Far", "Patton", "Band of Brothers", etc. Point out to him that the original Star Trek crew had an Iowa farm boy in the center seat, a Kentucky gentleman doctor as the chief medical officer, a Scot in charge of Engineering, a Russian at helm and even an alien as science officer but not one damned Swede -- or Frog, for that matter.

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That's kindergarten stuff. For REAL Apartment Wars, he needs a large supply of MP3s on repeat: Bagpipe music. Australian Digeridoo, Thrash metal, sound effects, several operas, followed by a mix of Norwegian speed metal. Top it off with Yanni.

We had Apartment Wars with our downstairs neighbor in Maryland. He watched pornos, 24/7, with the sound jacked up so loud it shook our walls. It didn't matter how many times we'd pound on his door and yell at him to turn it down- the volume went back up within a half an hour.

We filled a 50 CD carousel with the above listed screamy musics, plus a mix CD entitled "Pathological compilations," faced our speakers on the floor, jacked up the volume to 11 and left for the day.

You've got to open with a salvo that shows you are NOT messing around.

Superglue. Toothpick. Lock.

In my experience, the toothpick is optional.

Ah...dorm life. So many ways to screw with asshole neighbors.

I'd sooner live in a van down by the river than in an apartment again.
It is psychologically unhealthy to be packed in with people you have not chosen.

Find a youtube loop of 10 hours of a baby crying. Tie into your stereo, crank to 11, leave for work.

^^^ Eeeeeeevil. And likely very effective!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De6wIqXNywY&index=3&list=PLJV21zFn SVQ-iuhD5NSxbkiNyaRpMiOWY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AelJjsFPOE4&index=7&list=PLJV21zFn SVQ-iuhD5NSxbkiNyaRpMiOWY

All these suggestions sound good, until you think about the apartments on the other walls and below you. Then you become "That Guy".........

Oi! Y'all are heartless.

After our favorite Stapleton swede got everything moved about and situated he has been nice a quiet.

Ronin I have similar issues one being a lifted very "pretty" jeep that's belt screams horribly on start up. Last winter I was soooo close to cutting his belts one night and leaving a 50 to replace them.

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Originally Posted by SideShow Bob

All these suggestions sound good, until you think about the apartments on the other walls and below you. Then you become "That Guy".........

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This

I've always been fortunate enough to not have anyone above me when I was in apartments. That sucks man.

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Originally Posted by DFBrews

Ronin I have similar issues one being a lifted very "pretty" jeep that's belt screams horribly on start up. Last winter I was soooo close to cutting his belts one night and leaving a 50 to replace them.

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Good thing our neighbor we share a landing with and the guy behind us are both on the HOA board, and we've gotten to become quite good friends with them... They're aware of the issues, and it certainly helps that I've bumped into them a few times when coming home or leaving in uniform.