Life is a roller coaster ride

Funny how life never seems flow along on an even keel. Even when you think things are going a certain way and you get used to certain things life just has a way of throwing you a little curve ball.

My son and his wife came over for dinner this evening and as much as it hurt their pride to have to ask it seems their rent is being raised beyond what they are going to be able to afford and they asked if they could stay with us for a while until they get their feet back under them and can find a better place for them to live.

Family is family and and there's no way the wife and I would turn them away so in a month the two of them will be moving in with us.

Being young once myself many many years ago I understand the struggles and financial burdens put on a young couple just setting out in the world. I wish there was more I could do to help them out but for the time being putting a roof over their heads is the best I can offer up.

The wife and I have gotten accustomed to being the only two people in our house so I'm sure adjustments and compromises to our current lifestyle will have to be made.

Thank you, life, for keeping us all on our toes.

Damn. Colorado just isn't the place to live if you're going to rent. Hopefully they can build a little nest egg to get in to their own place soon. They're very fortunate to have somebody to fall back on, I'm afraid I'd be in trouble if put in the same situation.

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Originally Posted by ray1970

Funny how life never seems flow along on an even keel. Even when you think things are going a certain way and you get used to certain things life just has a way of throwing you a little curve ball.

My son and his wife came over for dinner this evening and as much as it hurt their pride to have to ask it seems their rent is being raised beyond what they are going to be able to afford and they asked if they could stay with us for a while until they get their feet back under them and can find a better place for them to live.

Family is family and and there's no way the wife and I would turn them away so in a month the two of them will be moving in with us.

Being young once myself many many years ago I understand the struggles and financial burdens put on a young couple just setting out in the world. I wish there was more I could do to help them out but for the time being putting a roof over their heads is the best I can offer up.

The wife and I have gotten accustomed to being the only two people in our house so I'm sure adjustments and compromises to our current lifestyle will have to be made.

Thank you, life, for keeping us all on our toes.

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Having been in your shoes on both sides of the equation i will share this advice. REMEMBER when you go from the bedroom to bathroom, or kitchen in the morning.

PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!.

One gets comfortable with many things when children are no longer under your roof. As you walk from one room to the other it will HIT YOU half way through your journey. SOB we have guest.

Just saying.

Other than the laundry going more, timing ones shower and the noticeable reduction of food stores one has. It will try ones patience. Remember we were young "once" also receiving help when needed. Good on you Dad.

Suggest that they save whatever money they'll be saving by living with you. Also, even though you are Dad, and love them greatly, be sure to give them shit for any unnecessary purchases while they're staying with you. My buddy was letting some people from work live with him while they "saved up to buy a house." He wasn't enjoying the extra company and they didn't seem to be trying too hard to save for, or even look for a house. The final straw was when the dude bought a freaking non-running project car for $5,000. Now they're back in their own apartment.

Anyway, of all of life's surprises, this one isn't so bad. Hope everything goes as smoothly as possible.

Been there, know what you are heading into. Just as it was when they last lived in your home, the number one rule still needs to be; My roof, My rules. I am sure that you and your wife will extend them the benefit of being adults, but they need to know exactly what your expectations are and they need to meet or exceed those expectations.

You are about to provide one of the greatest financial benefits any parent can give to their grown children. Given that average one bedroom apartments are going for $1300 per month, you are doing plenty for your kids.

I pray you all have a double helping of patience and grace in dealing with each other.

Maybe you can work out an arrangement where they "pay" you rent while staying there. But you keep the money for them as their down payment into a new place when the time comes. That way they still have the obligation of paying their way but it also helps them out in the end. Or not. Just an idea. Good luck, and good for you, for being there for them.

This is a great idea. I don't know if I would even tell,them you were doing it. I would also recommend setting a time limit (6 months/1 year) so this is a temporary arrangement from the beginning. That makes it easier for all when the time comes and you and your wife want your space back. It will also work as another motivation point to save.

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Originally Posted by Bailey Guns

Maybe you can work out an arrangement where they "pay" you rent while staying there. But you keep the money for them as their down payment into a new place when the time comes. That way they still have the obligation of paying their way but it also helps them out in the end. Or not. Just an idea. Good luck, and good for you, for being there for them.

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My son is only 8 with one on the way. Starting to think about backup plans after reading this.

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Originally Posted by izzy

My son is only 8 with one on the way. Starting to think about backup plans after reading this.

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Depending on how one reads this, it sounds like you're about to be a grandfather. lol

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Originally Posted by Bailey Guns

Maybe you can work out an arrangement where they "pay" you rent while staying there. But you keep the money for them as their down payment into a new place when the time comes. That way they still have the obligation of paying their way but it also helps them out in the end. Or not. Just an idea. Good luck, and good for you, for being there for them.

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Not a bad idea and I had already actually considered that. They are good kids trying their hardest to do it all on their own and I know they felt bad about even having to ask to move in with us. Charging them rent might make them feel better about themselves while they live here and, unbeknownst to them, be setting aside money to help them into their next place.

Ray, you and your wife are good people for helping them out. Family is family, and genuine difficulties such as raised rent are hitting a lot of young people. It will likely be a difficult transition for the four of you, but hopefully they will be able to save up a nest egg/down payment, and help you out with home projects and such things that require a bit more youthful strength/enthusiasm that was previously available.

...and if it proves more difficult than previously though, come here and lay down some rants!

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Originally Posted by CavSct1983

Depending on how one reads this, it sounds like you're about to be a grandfather. lol

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Anything is possible.

Thank you all for listening and for the words of encouragement. I don't have a lot of real friends in my life other than my wonderful wife and sometimes it just helps to tell someone other than her what's on my mind and know I get sympathy somewhere.

Sounds like you don't have to cook, clean, mow the yard, change the oil, etc for a while. Enjoy your days off!