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Long story short, dealing with my father?s estate and all of the stuff he accumulated over his lifetime has really got me reevaluating my situation and my stuff.
I will be bringing back most of his firearms from Texas after the holidays and will likely be going through some of mine and probably selling them off.
When I start posting them, do you guys think I should post each one individually or should I just make one post with everything in it?
I’d say multiple entries. Then we can close the threads when they sell. Might be less cluttered.
Or maybe I’m full of BS.
I see where a single item per listing makes sense. Easier to click and look at an ad for one thing, can close it when that one item sells as you mentioned, etc.
I guess making individual listings isn?t any more time consuming for me than making one big, long listing with everything in it.
Also, a bulk listing would just have a generic description in the title and someone would have to click it and scroll through everything to see what I was selling. A single listing would have that particular item description in the title so people could see the title and decide if it?s something they are interested in without having to open it.
That's too bad about your father.
I know what you are saying about the things accumulated over a lifetime. It makes it very difficult to go through his things. I still have a few boxes of my dad's stuff that I need to get rid of and he died in 2016.
He was far from a packrat so the things he had were things he liked. I look at them and get to wondering where he was when he bought it- where he was physically and what he was thinking when he bought it.
That melancholic road tends to be slow and meandering. I should have called someone to haul it all away and been done with it.
But then I wouldn't find cool shit like this...
https://photos.smugmug.com/Other/Mis...37594056-M.jpg
I agree with this method.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tim K
Funny, I am in the same boat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiememphis
That is a beauty! I like lizards both artsy and real.
Things accumulated over a lifetime? Geez! When my girlfriend moved from my mountain home to take a job in GJ, it took me 1 1/2 years to purge the generations of stuff left behind by my grandparents, their seven children and my parents. My own stuff too. Eventually, I mostly emptied or moved stuff out and prepared the home to rent. Then we married, bought a farm in Palisade and began a new life, sans the generations of baggage (except stuff from her parents).
I'm not a hoarder but I am a saver with a hardware store worth of stuff that comes in handy, saves time, money and trips to town. Now I'm working steadily to purge the excess and unused stuff, organize the remaining and simplify my life.
It is a cool lizard, about 6 inches long. Dad loved southwest "stuff".Quote:
Originally Posted by Hummer
I have the same problem about saving things. I know I'll need it... someday. It was much worse when I had a garage and was always working on things and fabricating items.
I just recently tossed out about 40 pounds of metallic things.
We called it the magic box.
Whenever you needed something to complete a project, you kinda shifted some crap around, never making direct eye contact with the box, and what you needed would eventually surface.
Let this graph be your guide.
Attachment 92337
I?m fortunate that I don?t tie physical things to the people that owned them. At least for the most part. I took two keepsakes when my dad passed and I can easily fit both of them in my front pocket.
There are things that I hate to see go but honestly I just don?t have space or a use for them.
He had a metal tool chest that he used during his 40+ year career at the oil refinery. It has my last name stenciled on top and it?s a cool piece with a lot of character but if I took it I know it would just get buried in my garage until I die. Someone outside the family thought it was cool so I let them have it.
He also has my grandfathers old radial arm saw. This thing was built when tools were meant to last a lifetime and I?d love to have it but it?s a beast and I definitely don?t have the space.
Anyways, I?m sure anything of value will get sold during the estate sale and most of the rest will be donated, recycled, or trashed.
Have to sell three Harleys and a 1934 Ford coupe and then the house can go on the market.
On a related note, if anyone is looking to move to southeast Texas I have a house for you.
Is the '34 original or a hot rod?Quote:
Originally Posted by ray1970
Where is the house?
For some reason, homes in Victoria have been popping up on my Redfin feed for a few years now.
Nice homes, big lots and high property tax.
The 34 is a street rod. I think I have a buyer.
The house is on 2 or 2 1/2 acres in a little town called Sour Lake. Not much there but it?s only about a fifteen minute trip to the sprawling metropolis of Beaumont.
Speaking of declutter, when my sisters cleaned out dad's house. Mom had passed 5 yrs earlier, which was a horror show to itself . Anyway. they ended up having 2- 30 yd roll offs needed, by the time the house was cleared out. Not including all the items donated to DAV.
As i'm sitting here, the spouse is ending week 1 of serious ankle surgery, from when she shattered it 7 yrs ago. Looking around at what we can't do, both in wheel chairs, atm. Combined with what i was unable to do after heart surgery 2 yrs ago. It puts ones limited shelf life in perspective. The only thing that keeps us from moving in to a smaller, retirement type area is............
We hate neighbors and hoa's. So we'll let the kid sort all our shit out. But everything's (ok, almost everything) is labeled and or marked with info of approx used pricing, to sell. Including people to contact for assistance selling or trading off.
One more reason one needs to have a will, as well as all their belongings listed to who gets what. INCLUDING, making sure the house (if owned) has names for getting possession, or POA to sell. That's something, if not done, the state get's it's grubby hands in.
That's a heavy load to put on your kid.Quote:
Originally Posted by Great-Kazoo
If you already have everything labeled to sell, why not do it now?
I would also highly recommend that anyone who doesn?t have a will please think hard about getting one done. My dad didn?t have one and it made things harder than it should have been. The only thing that helped was that my brothers and I are mostly all rational, intelligent people and get along well.
Also, make sure if there is anything you have that you can designate beneficiaries that you do that because that really expedites things for your surviving loved ones.
I've heard that a trust is far better than a will, supposedly more solid and non-contestable - but I'm not a lawyer.....
Trust, will, whatever works best in this day and age. Just have a plan in place. Leaving your affairs in a mess and not having some sort of plans in place just puts unnecessary burdens on the people you are leaving behind.
Yhea, a trust is far better than a will because it can (depends on how it's written) be an entity that survives beyond your grave and can contain details on how the assets are doled out far more accurately than a will.Quote:
Originally Posted by rondog
Parents, pay attention, my parents believed so strongly in trusts, they codified the following in their trust:
In their trust they specified that their assets would not be distributed to anything other than a trust held by each child. But up front they gave a stipend to each of the kids, enough to have a lawyer set up a trust.
We all set up trusts, got our assets and all's good.
Just my experience with trusts.
O2.
Ps. I guess we also have an outlier family since multiple lawyers commented that they had never seen a trust or will go so cooperatively to the descendants.
Let me know if you need an extra hand moving stuff around. I'll drive down.
I appreciate the offer. I have brothers in Austin and a there is a kid that lives next to my dad that always helped him out who I?m sure would be willing to lend me a hand. We gave him one of my dad?s trucks so he kind of owes us. Lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by 00tec
I got along great with my Dad. He assured me that when he passed, I was getting the house and land... but I never got a copy of his Will.Quote:
Originally Posted by ray1970
After he passed, my evil mum and her lawyers told me, "You don't get a dime" and ever since she's been renting out the first floor and going on ten vacations a year.
Have a lawyer draft your Will, then provide a copy to your beneficiaries.
When my wife's Dad passed away, within hours his brothers (who hadn't visited in over a decade) suddenly showed up, pushed his disabled wife aside, and picked the house clean. My wife got an old framed photo of him, which was the only thing they left behind.
Not really, she enjoys the kaos that's her dad. Her revenge as told to her mother is. Once cremated she's going to spread my ashes around ca, since she knows how much i dislike the state. With me being unable to do anything about it. .Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiememphis
I'd rather, as well as she and the S-I-L, get possession of my "small" gun collection. This way she can harass her cousin's with the guns, they didn't get.
Will: Must be notarized and/or signed by two witnesses (preferably notarized...) It always goes to probate despite having a will (or it at least, is supposed to > $50,000) so the gov has its hands in it anyway.
Revocable Trust: A gift for someone in the future, but you can revoke it. Gives you more control, but it's also little better than a will. Sometimes it avoids probate, which is better than a will. Does not provide any protections from Medicaid, creditors, or improve the outlook of applications for assistance.
Irrevocable Trust: A gift for someone in the future, but you can't revoke it. Properly written, you can still exercise some control (you can direct the trust-home to be sold, and another trust-home to be bought in it's place, etc.). AVOIDS PROBATE. More importantly: Immune to lawsuits even in your lifetime. More importantly: Immune to Medicaid 5 years after you create it. You could create an irrevocable, put your 5 million dollar house with 80 acres in it, "rent" it for the cost of the 20 year-old house payment, not have it "count" against any asset valuations in applications for assistance, and in five years be fully qualified for Medicaid which would consider you not to own a house at all. And then when you accidentally rear end a blond societal leach at 5mph, when she does a frivolous personal injury suit against you, you can shrug your shoulders and even default if you choose, there's nothing for anyone to get.
Make sure you explicitly disinherit people you wish to receive nothing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clint45
I had this same scenario happen when my mom passed. Me and one of my sisters(full sister) got along great with our mom and had a great relationship with her, she was very active in both of our lives on a daily basis. She didnt have a will since she was still very young. But she had told us kids what her plan was if anything ever happened and what her wishes were. Well she suddenly passed unexpectedly and her seperated but not divorced husband came into the picture IMMEDIATELY along with our peice of shit, lazy as fuck good for nothing step sister(from him) came in and talked her dad(our step dad) into not folllowing my moms wishes of putting the house up for sale and having it split 3 ways for my sisters and myself. The money from the sale of the house was supposed to go as a nest egg for us kids to buy our own homes. Houses in the neighborhood sell for around 1.2-2million.
Now our peice of shit 24 year old half sister who has never held a legitimate job, flunked out of college AND beauticians school is living in my childhood home, with her dirtbag peice of shit boyfriend who doesnt even have a job. Which so happens to be a relatively nice home and values around 1.6 mil last time it was appraised. Meanwhile im struggling to buy a home and have honorably served 14 years in the US army with an honorable discharge and a master plumbers license and countless other achievements, my other full sister who is an amazing person, she has 2 kids and a husband and was just recently able to buy a home but has been renting for the last 12 years. My mom passed away 8 years ago now. So all of that rent money could have been saved or put towards a mortgage or savings.
If you cant tell im SUPER bitter about everything and the way it went down, and I know for a damn fact my mom is flipping out watching all of this from above, and its all because she didnt have a will or trust setup. SUPER IMPORTANT to have that all squared away, or things like this happen. Because people are greedy peices of shit sometimes. And its sad to say but its true.
I'll be somewhere nearby if you need a hand.Quote:
Originally Posted by ray1970
I have been travelling to Maryland a lot this year to help my Mom declutter for whatever comes next. My father has severe alzheimers. He is healthy, and fortunately fairly docile, which makes a difference; his mother was fairly violent when the disease set in. But it has left all decisions to my Mom, who has truly risen to the occasion and become internet-saavy and highly self-sufficient within the last three years.
My Mom's greatest desire was to remove the clutter of 50 years of marriage. One of my uncles 'helped' by taking all of my father's woodworking equipment and his guns. I have mixed opinion of this. On the one hand, I have all the woodworking equipment and guns I'd ever need in life, and I bought my father half of the guns he has, so it's not like they were family heirlooms. On the other, I would have preferred to handle this for my Mom and perhaps distribute the guns and tools more evenly amongst her multiple brothers. Having said this, the 'helpful uncle' is also the one who helped track my father down multiple times when he was in the wandering-off stages of the disease, and he has helped my Mom navigate the transition to being responsible for the house and my father's medical care. So as best I can, I am trying to let this particular grudge go.
It has made a palpable difference to my Mom to be relieved from the burden of too many possessions. She is happier and brighter and can find things easier. She has probably told me and my sister 20 times how much she appreciates having the space back. I also think it took a burden off of her to not worry about what we kids might want of theirs, and therefore saving everything. We filled up four van-loads to take to the dump, and about six to take to Good Will, Habitat, and some school for the Blind that she is a fan of. We also tagged the things we might want with yellow dot stickers, so my Mom could make quick decisions later if she had to. Mostly stuff like framed photographs, my father's Naval Academy swords, etc...
All three of us kids are fully launched and reasonably functional adults in our own lives, and none of us wants or needs to inherit any high value possessions or assets. But we all want our Mom to feel comfortable and secure in the next phase of her life. While this was an expensive year for me due to the travel, I am glad I took the time to do this with my Mom and my brother and sister, before medical or other causes might have forced our hand.
THIS - is my fear! I have a stepson and a grandson with families, that I want to provide for. Also some other relatives and friends. BUT - I have a stepdaughter that's a heroin addict, thief, beggar, scam artist, and total sociopath.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountain_Goat_Actual
The person that would shriek and scream about what's "hers", what "she's entitled to", "what she was promised", "what she deserves", and so on. And anything she got into her hands would go straight to the nearest pawn shop for the first cash offer. Or she'd trade it to her drug dealers.
So I'm not leaving her shit. Zip, nada, nothing. Not to mention she gave birth to our grandson and immediately tossed him into our laps because "she had a life to live and the right to do what she wants to". Yeah. Fuck her.
Her brother and her son turned out to be responsible family men, but she's in prison again, somewhere, last I'd heard. But I garontee she'd skip my funeral to break into my house with her druggie friends so they could grab everything they could.
At the very least do a life estate with you as the life tenant and your other children as the remainderman and put in there that you specifically disinherit her, and and all of her spouses, descendants, assigns, representatives, etc, then do a separate will with the same effect of disinheritance.Quote:
Originally Posted by rondog
That requires low-effort from a probate attorney. And it also covers you from Medicaid in a few years.
ETA: Then, your children are already a form of joint-owners immediately. They can't affect your living possessory interest, but they certainly can rekey and secure and maintain the house as they need even while you are alive (say, in a rehab facility), and immediately occupy and secure it when you do someday pass away. If the sister's druggy friends broke in, your other children could implement castle doctrine.