Chuck Norris was invited to a birthday party. Norris dared one kid to suck all the helium out of all of the balloons. Today this kid is known as Justin Bieber.
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Chuck Norris was invited to a birthday party. Norris dared one kid to suck all the helium out of all of the balloons. Today this kid is known as Justin Bieber.
Oh, I can tell already that I'm gonna like this thread...
Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
chuck norris's tears can cure cancer...to bad he has never cried[Beer]
Albert Einstein said man will never be able to go the speed of light, so Chuck Norris went faster than light around the world and roundhouse kicked Einstein. Since he has changed his name to Stephen Hawking.
There is no such thing as evolution. When Chuck Norris gets bored with an animal, he beats it into a new shape.
When Chuck Norris gets cold, he just turns the sun up.
OH MY GOD! [ROFL1][ROFL2][LOL]Quote:
Originally Posted by airborneranger
I almost fell out of my chair!
Chuck Norris said let there be light- so he turned on the switch- God said "Thanks, now I can read my new Tom Clancy novel."
Charlie Sheen may be winning, but Chuck Norris has already won.
When Chuck Norris learned about JFK's assassination, he built a time machine, traveled back in time, and round housed the would be assassin in the face, killing him instantly. JFK saw this and his head exploded from the pure awesomeness.
Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Jesus maybe able to walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land.
There is No theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live
Chuck Norris takes care of the homeless, he gives them roundhouses.
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up.
All the spells that Harry Potter does is just television-friendly versions of things Chuck Norris can do with is dick.
Chuck Norris gets road head when the girl is driving.
I have a picture of Chuck Norris as my phone wallpaper and when I drop it the floor breaks.
If you watch the 2 girls one cup video really loud you can hear Chuck Norris in the background say "Now eat it."
Chuck Norris can fold water.
If you piss off Chuck Norris and he gives you the finger he's not telling you off, he's telling you how many seconds you have to live.
The French surrender to Chuck Norris everyday at 2pm
Jesus may walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land.
Chuck Norris treats heartburn by swallowing a live grenade.
In elementary school the teacher asked Chuck Norris how many stripes are on the American Flag, he replied "yes." He was correct.
Chuck Norris is the only one to win Jeopardy without answering in the form of a question.
Chuck Norris is incapable of reproducing because the human womb can't handle his sperm.
The TSA has stated that you are not allowed to say "Chuck Norris" on an airplane.
If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck still has more money than you.
Chuck Norris once had a bout of bad gas, the result was Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the Earth down.
Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
The boogey man looks in his closet, for Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris pours milk into his Rice Crispies, they shut the f*ck up.
If you see Chuck Norris banging your wife, get him a glass of water because he might be thirsty.
There is no global warming, it is just the earth's fear of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a tanktop, he wears a whole tank.
Barry Bonds didn't inject steroids. He injected Chuck Norris' sweat.
Chuck Norris was once pulled over.....he proceeded to arrest the police officer.
When Chuck Norris adds you as a friend on Facebook, there is no ignore button.
Chuck Norris once had a fight with Justin Beiber. The loser couldn't go through puberty.
Chuck Norris tells women "My eyes are up here."
Chuck Norris got drunk once, and as a joke, pissed in the fuel tank of a Kenworth. That truck is now called Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity...twice.
Chuck Norris can un-scramble an egg.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.