Need your prayers

[BREATHER]

It blows, Brother.. I lived with my second wife (twenty blissfull years of being single between marriages) for 5 years, as soon as we signed the nuptuials, she cheated with a friend of mine(he almost had a muzzleoader accident as that was what we were playing with at the time)... go figure.. Usually KARMA hits in though. She paid me dearly to leave, came out here to CO. And in the mean time I hooked back up with a girl I loved since we were 13 years old and Its been fantastic.. Good luck Brother and do what ya gotta do....

[CO Retriever]

Josh,

Praying for you and your family. It's a tough situation, but theres lots of good recommendations here.

Stand your ground and get a good attorney. Pray for the best and prepare for the worst. Don't put yourself in any situations with her where your temper can get the best of you. Situations like these can make the most grounded man go crazy.

Praying for you Josh.

[bellavite1]

Been there...
Sucks, but you can get through it.

[Chad4000]

Good luck man... Just slow down and go into "logical mode".. You can handle anything my friend.... You can do it..

[argonstrom]

Hit me up if you want to talk; I've been through it.

Just keep one thing in mind - DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!

[ldmaster]

Stop sending Email of ANY KIND to ANYBODY EXCEPT your lawyer about your wife or your divorce.

All of your email CAN and MIGHT be subpoena'd in any divorce case. It doesn't matter what you say, or how you say it, if you put it in an email it can be admitted into evidence during a hearing for ANYTHING. An email to your lawyer can be protected though, so that's not a problem. STOP DOING THINGS ONLINE THAT COULD REMOTELY BE CONSTRUED as relating to your marriage/divorce/her. It doesn't matter, again, that you're not saying anything harmful - you CAN slip, therefore you WILL slip.

You are probably having just a little bit of a problem figuring out which friends KNEW she was doing this, there are probably a couple that knew. There are PROBABLY a couple that think of HER as their "friend" so clam up with your friends too.

The biggest betrayals I have had in life were from people I considered close and personal friends, it's no joke, I trust people too easily. Until you KNOW, then the answer is that you dont know who your friends are in this.

Get/seek a lawyer, get the case filed in YOUR county (Jefferson) because whereever she's shacking up you can bet that it wont be convinient to you (like Colorado Springs/El Paso County) and either of you can file in your county of residence, make sure it's where YOU live.

Get a temporary order for physical custody with visitation included. She WILL use your children against you, she absolutely will.

Keep your kids out of it. Do not EVER discuss "mommy" with the kids, that she took the oldest one with her shows she's already bent their little ears about things.

Be wary and suspicious of ANYBODY trying to get you to talk about her or your situation unless you have patted them down for hidden tape recorders. Do not use a phone call to express anger OR frustration in ANY way. Go by the motto:

"I am not smarter than the person I think I am talking to" and figure they'll find a way to record you.

Do not seek support from people in "your side of things" the only friend you have in this regard is your lawyer, doing so sets up a situation where people have to choose sides, and, again, you dont know what they've heard from her.


Ultimately there are two sides to everything, she's certainly justified whatever she's done in HER mind and there is no way in the world you are going to EVER win that argument with her. Start as you intend to continue, be civil and courteous. Do not rise to any bait that occurs, even if she's actually trying to get under you skin.

You have ONE job right now, that's the job of being Dad. Everything else isn't important, it's one of the reasons it's always suggested to single parents that they not date until their children are out of school, so "moving on" is a television show myth.

oh, and don't watch T.V., it will depress the hell out of you. Avoid music with words, listen to instrumental music only. You'll find yourself crying at the weirdest times for the weirdest associations you form for something you're seeing or hearing, and her. Be prepared to feel useless as a man for some time. It's just the way it works.

Psychologists acknowledge that men tend to have the more emotional response to a breakup, women as noted in country western songs are just plain COLD about it all. Paula Abdul sang a song about it.

Get all your guns out of the house. If you have a laptop, keep it with you at all times. And find that lawyer. Find him/her now.

Oh, don't forget - I babysit for free!!!

Jim
Aurora

[spartan1919]

prayers out. i agree with what he said.

[Mazin]

ANYTHING you need man just hit me up!

[Jeep297]

Sorry to hear that. Prayers sent.

[Lex_Luthor]

Man, so sorry to hear. I'll keep you in my prayers.