Ballistic Programs Not Matching Actual Dope?

[asmo]

It seems the only effective way is to find a program that allows me to input a hand full of known distances and there corresponding drop, and let the computer do the rest. I don't even know if such a program exists,

Certain, higher end, ballistic calculators (Exbal, ATrag, etc) will let you put in your actual shot placement at various ranges and then work backwards to give you a corrected reading.

Your not making friends.

And if BC is different at varying speeds then who knows what it actually is.

It varies at different velocities - but its mathematically possible to predict your BC at various speeds. That's why programs like 'shooter' allow you to put in multiple BCs - and they smooth the transition over the flight time. High end calcs don't smooth but give you a precise BC at a precise measurement with a precise velocity.