Todays Fart Thread

[james_bond_007]

I couldn't stop laughing...

My favorite quote in the article :

You know your woman’s pissed when you have an 8-inch blade sticking out of your gut, and the first thing she thinks to do is run outside to find a stick to hit you with.

Man farts on girlfriend’s head sparking knife fight

Reference: http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2013/05/...ng-on-her-head

Often times we choose our Florida Friday stories to reflect stories that could seemingly only happen in Florida – getting eating by a gator while running from cops, a police stand-off ending via shark. But today’s Florida Friday story is something that (theoretically) could’ve happened anywhere. Something that forces us to recognize Florida’s inherent humanity. Think of it as a “Florida is just like us” story. I mean, how many times have you been in the middle of an argument with your lover when you realize that the only thing that can properly convey your contempt for her mendacity is a spontaneous blast of hot ass wind? That’s the decision 53-year-old Willie Butler of Immokalee, Florida made this week, though he’d soon live to regret it.

A drunken Florida woman stabbed her boyfriend with an 8-inch blade after he farted in her face during an argument, police say.

Whot we’ve got heeeah, is a FAILURE to communicate.

Deborah Ann Burns, 37, allegedly knifed her lover of six years — Willie Butler, 53 — as they watched television in their Immokalee apartment last week. Burns told cops they were fighting about cash when Butler got up to go to the kitchen and broke wind on her head. She confronted him and things turned ugly.

Hell hath no fury like a woman farted on. Now, here’s where I have to pause the game tape. “She confronted him?” I tend to think that if a person is deliberately farting on another person’s head that the confrontation has long since begun.

— with Butler allegedly throwing a knife at her, which missed. Burns reportedly picked it up and threw it back and hit him in the stomach.

That’s just poetic justice. Assuming your idea of poetry is a drunken knife fight. Which mine is.

She ran outside, before returning to hit him with a stick on his left arm.

You know your woman’s pissed when you have an 8-inch blade sticking out of your gut, and the first thing she thinks to do is run outside to find a stick to hit you with. The normal idiom to indicate adding insult to injury is “twist the knife,” but even that bespeaks an a certain unwillingness to add bludgeoning to the mix.

Cops arrived to find a bleeding Butler, who was so drunk he could not give a statement, standing in front of his mailbox. Burns, who denies cutting Butler, was arrested and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, reports 14News. |NYDailyNews|

Read more: http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2013/05/...#ixzz2YYmTaw58

[Jeffrey Lebowski]

Great find!!! LOL.

[BushMasterBoy]

Florida...still beats being crapped on by Hickenlooper, Morse & Giron...

[TheWeeze]

I don't know what makes me happier, that story or that you found it on FilmDrunk. By far one of my favorite blogs. That dude that writes it all is hilarious.

[HoneyBadger]

He farted on her face (is that assault? ) and then HE THREW THE KNIFE AT HER. How is he not getting charged with being a drunken assaulting ass?

[Chad4000]

LOL awesome.

[Steps]

People never cease to amaze me. I firmly believe they both should have been arrested!

[flyingcouch]

People never cease to amaze me. I firmly believe they both should have been arrested!

I believe justice had been served and no intervention was required by the police.

[james_bond_007]

[MOD: Merged with other man farting/woman pissed thread]

Michigan cops called to scene of domestic violence, but woman was just screaming at farting boyfriend

Police in Clawson, Mich. were summoned after neighbors heard screaming and a series of loud noises.
Reference : http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nati...#ixzz2YZBloxu1

Law enforcement authorities in Clawson, Mich. were called to the scene of suspected domestic violence after neighbors heard
screaming and loud noises and called police. But the big stink turned out to be protests over farting.


Cops called to the blood-curdling screams of a woman found she was just reacting to her boyfriend's disgusting farts.
Neighbors in Clawson, Mich. feared for the lady's life after hearing a series of loud noises and her horrifying howls.


But officers arriving on the scene soon realized it was a big stink over nothing and that the woman had simply been complaining about her lover's flatulence.
"One of the neighbors had heard somebody yelling — a female yelling … she was possibly being hit — yelling, 'Stop! No!'" Clawson Police Chief Harry Anderson told CBS Detroit.



"She admitted she'd been shouting, but said it was because her boyfriend had continued to pass gas, and she was yelling at him to stop," Anderson added.
The incident reportedly happened earlier this month.


Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nati...#ixzz2YZC1oJ18

[02ducky]

Maybe she got a cover wagon.