*_The Americans With No Abilities Act_*

[clark]

*_The Americans With No Abilities Act_* *President Barack Obama and the Democratic Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.* *"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."* *In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).* *Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.* *Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.* *Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?"* *"As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. "This new law should be real good for people like me. I’ll finally have job security." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.* *Said Sen. Dick Durbin: "As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."*

[trlcavscout]

It sounds like my employer was the first to jump on board, now the people with no abilities are in charge of hiring/promoting others with no abilities.

[crays]

It sounds like my employer was the first to jump on board, now the people with no abilities are in charge of hiring/promoting others with no abilities.

^^^THIS^^^ x2.

Sent via my Mobile Work Avoidance Device

[CapLock]

As someone looking for one or two employees, where could one find someone with these so called......abilities? My brother and I are currently framing houses because believe it or not Colorado is having a small housing boom due to the low interest money. This is temporary at best. We've gone through three guys under the age of 25 and what a bunch of lazy pussies. Can't show up everyday or on time. Stand around with their mouths hung open with that stupid fuck lost look most of the time. Abilities....I'm convinced that anyone that has some is most likely working for themselves or locked into long term employment.
Bring back some low level manufacturing work for these tards. Take some of the dip shits out of school and put them into learning some kind of trade at 16 years old. I don't know how you'd get them to work hard unless you could beat'em. Yelling alone doesn't work

[brutal]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/con...ities-act,541/

[clark]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/con...ities-act,541/

Yea its an old one but with a few name changes it is never more applicable than it is today,,,though the numbers today are much larger than they were in 1998.

[BushMasterBoy]

I can only type what the forum voices in my head tell me to type...

[trlcavscout]

Ya the DMV at 63% seems pretty low to me, 80-90% would be more accurate.

[clark]

damn,,,got busted with a repost,,,should have done a search.......so sorry...