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Thread: Chuck Norris

  1. #1
    One Groovy Wagon WillysWagon's Avatar
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    Default Chuck Norris

    We've all heard the Chuck Norris comments, now throw some out there.
    These always crack me up


    Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the earth down.

    Chuck Norris doesn't use a nitelight cause he's scared of the dark, the dark uses a nitelight cause it's scared of Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity, TWICE !!!

    Chuck Norris doesn't leave messages, he leaves 'warnings'
    "I'd rather be a disabled Vet, than no Vet at all"

  2. #2
    Paper Hunter sniper_tim's Avatar
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    My son recieved the "The truth about Chuck Norris" book from a friend for Christmas.
    Was washroom fodder for a while, fricking hilarious.
    Definitely recomended reading!

    Based on the website: Chuck Norris random fact generator

    Favorites:

    Chuck Norris makes onions cry
    Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris does.
    Every peice of furniture in Chuck Norris's house is a Total Gym
    Chuck Norris once shot down a plane with his finger by pointing and yelling "BANG"


  3. #3
    Irish
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    "Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls!!!"

  4. #4
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    Do you know whats behind chuck norris's beard? another Fist!

  5. #5
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    Stephen Hawking once tried to explain the history of time without talking about Chuck Norris. As a result, Stephen Hawking can't really talk anymore. Or move.



    now thats funny.

  6. #6
    ssf467
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    Chuck Norris doesn't throw up, he throws down

  7. #7
    Paper Hunter sniper_tim's Avatar
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    gotta have a roundhouse kick....

    If someone asks Chuck Norris what his favorite song is, he roundhouse kicks them in the face until they beg for mercy. Then he tells them that is music to his ears.

    Heres one for you CareyH:

    As well as being an actor, martial artist, and poet, Chuck Norris is also a world-renowned physicist. It was in this capacity that he once had a disagreement about steady-state theory with Stephen Hawking. Hence the wheelchair.

  8. #8
    Paper Hunter sniper_tim's Avatar
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    It never rains on Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he has never cried.

  9. #9
    Grand Master Know It All DOC's Avatar
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    When Chuck Norris's shit hits the fan, the fan breaks.

  10. #10
    It's "Safe Man" opie011's Avatar
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    When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesnt get wet the water gets Chuck Norris'd

    Chuck Norris and Mr. T walk into a bar and it instantly explodes because nothing can contain that much awesome

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