As you seat a bullet deeper, there's less case volume and pressures go up... as you already know. In 9mm, this is huge as there's very little case volume to start with. In .308, pushing back .005" or .010" isn't going to matter much at all. Bigger cases like .30-06 or .300 win mag even less. If the problem truly is that you're too close to the lands, what you're doing will lower pressures.

When you run into the bolt not closing, pull the cartridge out and look for marks on the bullet where the lands have scraped. If you don't see them, it's most likely a sizing issue (this happens eventually if you're just neck sizing). I generally neck size a few times, then give it a full length sizing again for just this reason.

Remember some bullets are just going to be longer than their counterparts. They aren't all the same. Set your die so that the long ones don't exceed 2.800" (for example). The majority of your bullets will come a few thousandths shorter, and some quite a bit shorter. It's a normal statistical bell curve. Depending on your level of OCD, you can sort them by weight and length.