Had to share: Doctor Stories, how dumb people are.

[fitz19d]

Been reading this for hours. I am torn between being violently angry, or wanting to cry, or what at these stories if even half of them are true.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/co..._youve_had_to/

""Work in a pharmacy, had a young woman pick up her nuvaring (a ring inserted vaginally for birth control)
She came back in a month to pick up a new one, and was wearing the nuvaring around her wrist as a bracelet.""

""When I was an Army medic, I treated a guy for a spider bite that had swelled to the diameter of a tennis ball and was becoming necrotic. Rather than seek medical care, he had concealed it and had been popping it for weeks and filling it with hand sanitizer. I advised him that he should stick to machine guns and I would deal with the boo-boos.""

""Not a doctor but my friend had to be told that the reason her son was getting sick at school every day was because she was packing him peanut butter sandwiches and he was allergic to peanuts. She honestly didn't know that was an ingredient, and he was in middle school and wasn't bright enough to realize it himself.""

[ChunkyMonkey]

Glad you have that kind of free time.

[ZERO THEORY]

Have had to inform a few male patients that the condom only goes on the shaft and should not be pulled down to include covering of the testicles.

I once had to use the word dick instead of penis because the patient did not know the proper term for his genitalia.

My dad is a family doctor in the states. A woman came in for a well baby check with her 6 month old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby's bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldnt be giving her baby chocolate milk at which point she interupts him and says "oh that isnt chocolate milk. Its coffee! He just loves it!"

I work as a pharmacologist and one of the patients we had at my company was complaining the cat allergy medicine we gave her wasn't working (formulated in an inhaler). Turns out she was spraying the inhaler on her cat... We have to explain to her that she needs to inhale it...

If you're going to put it in your ass, make sure it has a flared base. Or is attached to something you won't "lose your grip on".Corollary: If you've already lost something in your ass, don't lie to the triage nurse and then medical team. While your story is usually amusing, we don't really care how it ended up in there.

I'm not a doctor, but I'm an ER nurse. I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn't matter "because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it throughly after every use." I asked what she meant when she said he washes it after every use. She explained that he washed the condom with hot water and soap before he used said condom again -_- I had to explain to her that condoms are a one time use product...She had no clue...

[Tim K]

A couple of those made me laugh till I cried.

[TheWeeze]

I went on a couple of dates with a girl who was a gynocologist. I got a text one day saying"OMG one of my patients is retarded. Their internal organs are prolapsing through their vagina because they thought it would be a good idea to douche with Listerine because they just had unprotected sex and didn't want to get pregnant. wtf???"
So don't douche with Listerine.

[–]SolubleCondom
Ok, yes that's retarded.... But why would that cause prolapse?

[–]meninthemirror
The organs basically said "What a fucking moron, I'm outta here".


[–]Lobster456 3513
Pussy riot

[kawiracer14]

^ bahaha

I work in medical software and hear some horrifying stories when I'm in the clinics.

[Ah Pook]

Spent too much time in hospitals lately. None of this really surprises me.

[RblDiver]

One of my "favs": "Had a lady measure her baby's temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby's forehead. She told the nurse her baby's fever was about 250 degrees."

[BushMasterBoy]

I like the stories of the gay guys using Ben Gay for lube...

[BPTactical]

Proof that STOOPID is non repairable.