neither are we. I've done full birds, but found spatchcock style is better. It's easier and less time consuming, this way if you do screw it up only a small portion of the bird is either over or under cooked
IF i had the space for another cooking item, i'd go with a deep frier. Nothing like a deep fried turkey.
I just so happen to have a brand new turkey frier set-up sitting in my garage that I need to get rid of.