Generational issues

[Great-Kazoo]

Ultimately it would be forgiveness, because continuing to harbor this is not going to do me any good...

You can mend fences or deal as is till he dies.
FWIW: My old man and i didn't talk for almost 20 years Till................. One day i had 3 clients right after the other, all guys who (Karma) had been at odds with their dads. All 3 of their dads had died within weeks of each other. They all said their biggest regret was not making peace with their fathers. Got off work and called my dad. That was 20 years ago.

[Hound]

Many coming back from War have a hard time talking about it, even with their kids.... In the best of circumstances. Many also suffer from things like ShellShock/PTSD (samething), which they can either take out on thier kids or not deal with them for fear of taking it out on their kids. My family has a lot of millitary in it, I have seen this personally. Handle it however you see fit but just be aware you may be picking at an old wound that even your father does not understand about his father.

[jslo]

My dad died a little over a year ago. Miss him every day. My advice is to tread lightly. He will be gone one day and the chance to mend will be gone.

[james_bond_007]

Many coming back from War have a hard time talking about it, even with their kids....

In my family I found that those that served in war, in combat, just didn't and don't like talking about what they went through. They were not really anti anything or anybody, they would just prefer not to talk about it and they were very firm in that...

I had some great uncles from WWII and cousins from Vietnam. I tried talking to them when I was young about the war. The best I got then was that they would play GI Joes with me, and explain what all the stuff was used for. My mom always got calls from their wives after their visits, telling her to "make your kids stop pestering him about the war...it bothers him."

Now they will talk with me a bit, but more from a historical perspective, rather than a personal perspective.
They are more open now than they were; however, they all cringe when I show them some of the war memorabilia I have collected.
One of them was offered an Honor Flight, and refused, stating "I don't want to stir up any old memories that I have worked so hard to forget".

Then their are other guys that I meet at Veteran Reunions that will tell me stories about whatever I want...and as long as I want to stay and listen.

I would expect war affected different people in different ways. Try to respect each person's decision on whether they want to talk or not.
Don't take it personally...