Canon city gems.

[sabot_round]

Well that solves my problem...I have plenty of empty coke bottles after drinking my bourbon. When can I start my class 3 trip?

[Irving]

Well that solves my problem...I have plenty of empty coke bottles after drinking my bourbon. When can I start my class 3 trip?

"I can't remember how this got started. But I can tell you, exactly, how it will end." -NIN

[UncleDave]

Punchline to a joke "NO, you put the potato IN THE FRONT!!!"

My high school algebra teacher told me that one freshman year.

[glenncal1]

Everybody in that town is like that. I think I only know one guy in that area that is a standup guy and he's a member here.

I think you could pick a random guy in Canon and they will be one of a few things (pick a letter).

A) Tinfoil mall ninja wanna be.
B) High end convict
C) Meth head
D) Some little old lady dating a 20yo.
E) Some 20yo dating a little old lady.
F) Someone that is just a little to friendly with their cousin.
G) Someone who used to be a woman who used to be a man.
H) A grown man who cries every 3 seconds for sympathy. Who may be a preacher.
I) A overweight pedophile.
J) An overweight mustached incestial pedophile.
K) A 350 pound army ranger (from COD)
L) A 350 pound prison guard who is like, in SWAT
M) A straw chewing coveralls hillbilly with a literal IQ of 42.
N) Another straw chewing hillbilly that thinks the one with an IQ of 42 is the smartest man on the planet.
O) Some skinny b#$#h that keeps popping out kids from different men for the welfare check.
P) Some overweight b#$#h that keeps popping out kids for the child support check.
Q) Some haggled bedraggled former whore looking for the next guy to gold dig.
R) Some old hillbilly fart that thinks the bedraggled whore is fine shit.
S) Some officer taking money and sexual favors under the table.
T) Some guy in one of canon cities highest paid positions (equivalent to a Wendy's salary in Denver area) giving and receiving reach arounds.
U) You know the police officer on southpark? Yeah, that guy. But he reproduced, with his cousin.
V) A conartist passing themselves off as a preacher.
W) Roving packs of wild children with the same mother, but multiple fathers.
X) 15year old girls dating 58 year old guys.
Y) Mothers who try to hook up their 15 year old girls with 58 year old guys.
Z) The unibomber - to find intelligence in this county, you have to go to the supermax.

This list has some level of creativity, but mostly all of these are real people I know over there. Fremont county has more prisons than any other county in the US, and more than 50% of their workforce is employed as prison guards. In all reality, it is the true cesspool of a very wide area.

Of course, there is the exception to this list. There's charger - none of the above, there trying to fix hells bellybutton.


So where were we... talking about a gunshop. Sorry about my rant. I just *love* that county, so, so much.

I forgot to say this before but I vote for this as post of the year 2014

[68Charger]

I was recently reminded of this post... somebody mentioned that at least the county had most of the Democrats in jail already...

doesn't seem to help the corruption, tho.

[68Charger]

I've actually been mentally compiling my own list, based on personal experiences and those of my family:

1) Someone convicted of scamming his grandmother out of $1000s... and still doing the same while on probation (with other people's grandma's)
2) DOC employees and guests busted on DOC property with cell phones (contraband inside property)
3) a 17yo girl emancipated & living with her grandmother and getting pot directly from her 22yo boyfriend (not know if it's legal source, likely not)
4) at least 2 people managing crappy fast food restaurant that commute from Colorado Springs, because company can't find someone trustworthy within county
5) A son (18-19yo) of a DOC employee that is offering to by sex toys for a 16yo over text messages, while dating someone else.
6) licensed HVAC company saying they fixed something- but when confronted they didn't... said "well it was cramped under that mobile"

Just what I can think of off the top of my head, and the tip of the iceberg... sometimes I think I really just need to move.

[Irving]

I feel like you could find that same list about 50x over in any larger city. Hell, you could find that list in a single family if it gets big enough.