Advice from all the fathers out there!

[MED]

I am a single parent, and had my son 1/2 time since he was an infant. When it was my week to have him, there was nobody else so I figured it out as I went. To mirror the sentiment of other posts, it is all about time spent. You will figure out what your child likes and doesn't like as you spend time with her. But, more then anything else, you need to build a relationship with your child. If you put in the time to build a successful relationship, you will find that they easily forgive little mistakes. As she gets older, make sure you take the time to listen to her while understanding what is important to her. Make sure you look for the signs that she needs to talk, or just needs acknowledgement. Sometimes, you just need to put away what you are doing or the fact you had a bad day and just be there. Like most things, you get out of it what you put into it. My son is in high school now and we have an incredible father/son bond that I wouldn't trade for anything.

[Great-Kazoo]

Big strap, firm hand, unwavering commitment to keep them on a good path.

DON'T SWEAT THE LIGHT SHIT.

Kids will be kids. My wife worked 3 12's so I took care of our daughter. Rest of the time it was her gig. You can only help so much in life. .

Be there when possible, do what you can when you can. Don't stress out when you can't. Believe me there will be plenty of time while they grow up to cover what you didn't, when younger.

[Jamnanc]

Practice the football carry, see how the baby likes to be held by you. Some babies seem to like facing out so they can see, some face in. Don't try to sit with the baby, walk, rock, slow dance, sway, see what the kid wants. They are all different, but my kids would cry the moment my ass touched a chair.
Car rides are good too. Sometimes that puts them to sleep when other things won't.

[killianak9]

If your not in this article then your doing good

http://www.dose.com/lists/3655/These...ampaign=Burner

[vim]

Be patient; your daughter will adjust to the new routine.

You will never regret the time you put in with your children. Never.

- "Grampy"

[Chad4000]

For some reason my wife (now ex) really wanted me to participate in bath time when my son was little. Not sure how she landed on that one, but I started taking care of the bathing situation and that helped for awhile. other than that, cleaning, and laundry. empty the dirty diaper thing too

[JohnnyEgo]

I will give you some parenting advice that has practical application across the entire field of child-rearing:

"Stupid people have been having and raising babies for millennia, and yet the human race lives on."

This is what my pediatrician told us after he was tired of answering a million questions about if our child was okay or if we were doing the right things as parents.




I will give you another piece of advice from an economist that completely changed my perception on how I dealt with my own child:

"Genetically speaking, there is very little you can do to alter the core characteristics of your child. Their overall perception of happiness, however, is mostly formed by their parents"

The short version of which is if you want your kid to be happy, you need to be happy yourself. If taking your kid to soccer practice six times a week when he doesn't really want to go either makes you miserable, it will make your kid all the more miserable. So focus not just on carving out some time to make yourself happy, but make your wife happy, too. Probably by force, because women in general seem to feel far more guilty about spending time on themselves that could be devoted to their small children.I used to resolve the issue by taking my boy to the gun shop with me. I wanted to hang out and look at guns, and having him physically out of the house for a few hours allowed the wife to actually relax and not step in to her parent role when he started crying. When he wouldn't sit on Santa's lap for his first Christmas, instead of forcing him to do it, I took him to the Christmas section at Sears and put him on the displays. He was happy and everyone loved the Christmas Cards that year. The more he spent time with me, the more he accepted my parental ineptitude, and the less he cried when it was me feeding him at 2:00 AM instead of Mom.


One last bit of advice for the road:

Children are douchey, irrational little dictators with no mercy.

I sometimes referred to my boy as Kim Jong Il. It is okay to not like them for every waking moment of their existence. You've still got a job to do (being a parent), but as long as you do it, it is okay to be resentful, tired, or irritated from time to time. Learning how to accept these feelings as natural is hard. Getting your wife to do the same is harder. But once you've learned how to do it, you will be happier, and your kid will be happier, too.


Also, they get even more fun and more exasperating as they get older, which happens quicker than you'd think.But it also gives you the opportunity to do the fun things you haven't done in a while, like build snowmen.

[Rumline]

So my daughter is a almost 7 months old and tonight she cried for over an hour while I was trying to feed and put her to sleep, finally my wife stepped in and within 10 min she ate her bottle and fell asleep!

I only have one kid but I wouldn't call that unusual. I got really frustrated about it at first but I learned to accept that sometimes only Mommy will do. Eventually there will be times that mommy is chopped liver and it's all about dad!

One thing that we did that I think has worked out well is that my wife and I took turns doing the nighttime feedings and betime routine. One of us got him ready for bed, the other prepared the bottle then fed it to him and rocked him to sleep. Once he started bottles that is. When he would wake up in the middle of the night to eat one of us made the bottle the other changed his diaper and fed him, then the next night we'd switch responsibilities. I definitely resented it at times when she still wasn't back to work and I had to wake up early for a meeting, but I think it helped in the long run because now he's not really particular about who does what in the whole bedtime routine.

JohnnyEgo, great post!

[hurley842002]

I really can't add anything that hasn't already been said, but I wanted to thank the OP for posting this, as it pretty much mirrors some of my fears. I have two boys, a 2 month old and a 19 month old, and often share the OP'S issues.

Our oldest is kind of "my little man", but it seems like I can't do anything right for the youngest (he knows who has the teet). All I can add is patience, and always put your wife and kids needs ahead of yours and check yourself from time to time, to make sure you are doing so, as it's easy to slip.

[Ranger353]

As a father of four, and now a grandpa of two, my #1 advice is learn how to change diapers. Do it often and without being asked (told) to do it and #2 is hold the baby every chance you get. Those two things will seem small to you, but are huge to the mom. She will gain confidence in your abilities to handle the baby, and will get some small free time to do things for herself (shower, nap, eat, etc...).