Eldery mother wants to get a gun...... Advice needed

[Chad4000]

I have an interesting one for you guys that I need some advice on.

My mother is 67 years old, and a drinker. I mean every day drinker. Not to get to personal on your guys lol. A little back story here:

My dad fought brain cancer for about 2 years, (passed away 2 years ago next month) and while he was sick, he specifically asked me to take his guns out of his house because he was worried about my mom going "Annie Oakley" at some random noise in the night. (His words). Well, with a nod, him and I both knew why he wanted me to do that and quietly I removed his service pistol (he was a navy pilot) and his .22 rifle which I currently have in my possession.

Anyway, I was over there the other night and she had gotten the NRA 40 gun giveaway flyers in the mail. (We're all members etc). All of a sudden she is ready to get a gun. And she means within days here. I started talking seriously with her about it as far as what to get and bla bla bla.. Basically I didnt see the indicators that I wanted to, to be comfortable with her getting one. She didnt want to take my advice on anything, she just wanted to "get something like" the gun she had with a previous marriage which she says was a "tiny revolver, 22 thingy, that held 6 and one in the chamber". yyyeah. And she says that she wants my dads gun back at her house (I told her that I borrowed them for a range day a long time ago lol).

She broke her right wrist a year or so ago, and she says she has no strength in it at all etc. She wouldn't be able to rack a semi. she does have two dogs that would go ape shit if somebody ever came in the house.
So I'm conflicted. she wont train. she says she will, but I dont see her going to the range once a week, learning the pistol etc. There are days when she has my 4 year old at her house. she drinks waaay to much. everyday. I basically dont think she is a good candidate for gun ownership.

On the other hand, she is a grown ass woman. and would feel safer with a gun.

Maybe some of you guys have been through this? be it your mother, friend, cousin something...

[Dave_L]

Daily drinking, no training and children. That does not sound like a good combination. No offense to your mother.

[vossman]

Youch, that's a tough one. The dogs sound like it's her best best for protection.

[RblDiver]

Sounds questionable to me. Have you brought these concerns up with her?

[Hound]

Tazer? Shotgun with rock salt/PE shells? Revolver with firing pin filed/removed? One of those fake CCW's there was a thread on here not to long ago??? More rum and coke so she forgets the whole thing?

Tough call. Maybe just sit her down and talk about what your Dad really said?

[HoneyBadger]

This is indeed a very difficult situation. Are you concerned about her hurting herself?

Regardless, I would really try to steer her toward a taser and some layered security: Window bars, locked doors, let her watch you reinforce the door jam and explain how it will keep bad guys out, "panic button" or having 911 on speed dial, build her a "safe room" with a reinforced door that she can hide in, get her an alarm system, get her involved in a neighborhood watch type of program, etc.

[Chad4000]

Sounds questionable to me. Have you brought these concerns up with her?

My mom has lived a rough life. one husband committed suicide, my biological father (not my dad that I referenced earlier) was a real piece of work, beat her up, stalked her la la la... she carries a lot of baggage that she unfortunately deals with by drinking. granted I am no psychologist. basically she fancies herself as "I can take care of myself and fuck everybody else". If I had a real talk moment with her, it honestly would probably do damage to our relationship, and probably push her further into a decision like this gun. At this point, I still at least have some sort of control on how it all goes down.

[Chad4000]

Tazer? Shotgun with rock salt/PE shells? Revolver with firing pin filed/removed? One of those fake CCW's there was a thread on here not to long ago??? More rum and coke so she forgets the whole thing?

Tough call. Maybe just sit her down and talk about what your Dad really said?

I honestly did think about removing a firing pin..... she thinks shes good to go but is realistically not a danger to anyone etc.

then I think about that once in a generation moment when she needs one, and I'm the douche bag that disabled her protection...

[TheGrey]

Have you had a heart-to-heart with her? Is she an alcoholic, or does she have a glass of wine with dinner? (That's a prying question, and you don't have to answer it. I think it's important to consider.)

This certainly is a tough one. I'm sure there are guys that are everyday drinkers that have these issues as well. Not a good combination, no matter who it is.
Did something happen to set this off in her head? Does she have concerns. or is she fixating on having a gun? Does she have anything as far as a security system (I'm talking cameras, or a panic button in case she falls) and how often do you check on her?

Without knowing the answers, I'd say that you need to lay down some rules. If she wants a gun, that's fine., providing:

If she gets a gun, she needs a gun safe that same day.
She trains weekly, with you.
But the days your child is at her house are the days that her gun goes with YOU. Booze, a child and a gun in the same house do not mix.
If she wants you to go with her to pick out a gun, that day she does not drink. Not a drop.

My parents are in this age group. There comes a time that we, the children, begin watching out for them. It's okay. You can do this. Just talk with her and let her know your concerns, and see what her concerns are.

---

Of course, I took my time with my post, and you answered a lot of questions. A taser may be better, like HB said.

[Chad4000]

This is indeed a very difficult situation. Are you concerned about her hurting herself?

.

not worried about that actually... shes a tough broad. "got no time to die" is one of her favorite things to say. usually when I am bringing up the fact that she needs to go to a doctor or something lol