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Thread: Darwin Award

  1. #1
    High Power Shooter
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    Default Darwin Award

    A couple of these are gun related, so, are appropriate for the forum. These are supposed to be true. Even if they are not, they are too funny to miss.


    Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
    bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

    Here is the glorious winner:

    1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
    during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did
    something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried
    the trigger again. This time it worked.

    And now, the honorable mentions:

    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
    machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
    insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men
    to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.
    The chef's claim was approved.

    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
    during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had
    taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
    found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
    Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
    driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
    ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
    staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
    The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
    wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
    injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he
    could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
    counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the
    man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
    promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving
    the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
    drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a
    crime committed?]

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
    he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
    booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at
    the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
    head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
    Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
    grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman
    was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
    minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
    drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to
    stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's
    her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
    Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded !
    cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
    register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk
    said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
    [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
    a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
    the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
    spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
    steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
    tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying
    that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

    *** Remember.... They walk among us!!!***

  2. #2
    RRD3
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    Those are good!

  3. #3
    QUITTER Irving's Avatar
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    I think they are all Fake, since there hasn't been a real Darwin award in a long time.

    Also, the nominations aren't even people who nearly died.
    "There are no finger prints under water."

  4. #4
    Don of the Asian Mafia ChunkyMonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crays View Post
    It doesn't matter how many rifles you buy...they're still cheaper than one wife, in the long run.
    Coarf Feedback
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  5. #5
    Gong Shooter rhineoshott's Avatar
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    Hey, my grandfather would always tell me number 10, Only he was the RV owner. I wonder if this is the same instance.


    General Manager of AMS - American Mountain Supply
    We proudly manufacture firearm, hunting, and outdoor goods in Longmont Colorado USA.
    Specializing in soft rifle cases and nylon holsters.
    www.americanmountainsupply.com

  6. #6
    QUITTER Irving's Avatar
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    The list with the RV owner is fake and was made up a while ago.
    "There are no finger prints under water."

  7. #7
    COAR SpecOps Team Leader theGinsue's Avatar
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    Real or fake, those still gave me a good chuckle!
    Ginsue - Admin
    Proud Infidel Since 1965

    "You can't spell genius without Ginsue." -Ray1970, Apr 2020

    Ginsue's Feedback

  8. #8
    Grand Master Know It All hobowh's Avatar
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    I liked them
    The Hobo

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