If you're obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are Paranoid, we know what you are and what you want stay on the line and we'll trace your call.
If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.
If you are schizophrenic listen carefully to the small voice and it will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed press any number you want, no one will give a fuck.




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