NEED TO UNLOAD
I have been a part of the forum for a while and very few folks here know me. Mostly just a lurker and post when I have something constructive to add to the conversation (for the most part). Certainly have gained a bunch of knowledge from this place. Now I am just posting so I can put my thoughts out there. I just need to put them out in front of a bunch of folks and maybe gain some perspective or advice. If no one responds to this that is fine. It is just nice to put it on the table. One thing I found, is that the forum has helped some folks akin to group therapy.
To give a bit of back ground. I lost my father when I was twelve. He passed in a traffic accident while in the line of duty. He fell from an overpass while trying to get out of the way of a spinning car on an icy over pass. This was something that I struggled with for many years afterwards failed to realized my father passed trying to ensure that other people stayed safe. Lived and died with a purpose. This backstory will be pertinent soon enough.
Fast forward a bit. I first visited Colorado 15 years ago on a month long elk hunting trip as a kind of college graduation present. A buddy of mine visited the state a week or so after I returned to PA. He said he was moving out and I said I am down. Since then, I moved through my career and have become successful by most standards. Got married, couple of kids and comfortable in life. Just as I reached a point of thinking life is pretty fucking good, I get a call at 6:00 am from my sister. I always new that at some point I would get "this call" but expected it many years down the road. Seeing how there is a 2 hour difference and my sister and I don't talk on a regular basis, I knew it was not good.
My 61 year mother had taken a fall down her basement steps. No big deal right? Not the case. She dislocated her neck and had laid at the bottom of the steps for almost 6 hours as she lived alone. That day multiple calls and messages and no answers. Her work place was called and she hadn't showed up. Huge red flag. To give you an idea of my mothers work ethic, she had acquired 96 sick days. So some friends were called that lived there and they check on her. She was found conscious at the bottom of the stairs and unable to move. Can't imagine the thoughts.
Skipping all of the details, the injury has left my mother a tetraplegic. Certainly a term I was not familiar with until recently. Kind of similar to a quadriplegic but fortunately a so called "better" situation. Here I am looking at a woman who has not asked for help from anyone since she was 15 years old after becoming pregnant, to a person needing help with everything. Nothing like a blast of reality feeding your mother her food as she could not do it herself.
This is where the previous background info comes in. Now twice in my life, gravity has kicked our assess. Now two people I have known, my father and mother, that have put everyone else in front of themselves have been kicked in the proverbial nuts. To give an example, the first thing out of my mother's mouth at the hospital was that there was money in her purse for us kids to go get something eat. There she is laying in a bed after almost dying, and still on verge, making sure other people around here are more comfortable than she was. Unbelievable!
Again, fast forwarding, some mobility has returned but we have no idea where she will be in the end. There is a very good possibility she will need full time care for the rest of her life. Not knowing how to plan anything really sucks. I have no idea how to help. Perhaps someone else has gone through something similar? There is a possibility that she may walk again too. However, too many life experiences have made me a realist/pessimist. How do you maintain hope and a positive outlook when shit keeps happening? I used to believed everything happens for a reason. It is down right fucking hard to see how this happened for a reason to someone whom has done nothing but put everybody else in front of themselves. I would certainly like to know how something positive can come this.
A few "sayings" are helping me through this.
Life is a bunch of shit in between a few fleeting moments of joy.
A persons true character is shown while navigating life's Tributaries.
God grant me the serenity........
Thanks to anybody who has read the whole post and any advice is welcomed. Perhaps not advice for me but something I may pass on to my mom to help her through all of this.
GRAVITY FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IF TOO DEPRESSING, PLEASE DELETE.
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Originally Posted by wyome
