Getting a Divorce :)

[RRD3]

Getting a Divorce





DIVORCE AGREEMENT


THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists
and Obama supporters, et al:


We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.


Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.


We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).


We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot
Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are
under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and over sized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe health care is a luxury and not a
right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &
Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And we won't have to press 1 for English.

[robsterclaw]

LOL I read the title and got my lawyers card out to give you her info. Glad I didn't need to give it to you. that was much funnier then a real divorce post would have been.

[RRD3]

LOL I read the title and got my lawyers card out to give you her info. Glad I didn't need to give it to you. that was much funnier then a real divorce post would have been.

I think the outcome would be better as well

[smchop]

I'd do it just to never have to "press 1" again unless I actually need it as a number, not an option.

[VDW]

[longhunter]

If it were only that easy....

[MichiganMilitia]

[theGinsue]

I agree, if only it were that easy.

We have a Federal government out of control and a number of states making a public declaration of sovereignty to make it clear they don’t agree with the direction the Fed’s are taking us. Unfortunately, so far it’s all just been fancy lip service with no actions to back it up. In the mean time, the Fed’s keep driving along the same route with their accelerator to the floor.

[nontactical]

Sorry, I have to register my dissenting opinion on one of the finer points... we want Michael Moore. The only time I have ever seen a person physically assault a television set was because Michael Moore was on it, and that was perhaps the funniest thing that I have ever seen. Okay, so I saw a video of the assault, and I was the assailant (one of my friends had the good sense to record the attack with his cel-phone). But it was still really, really funny when I saw the playback. And no, I wasn't drunk.

Can we keep him and put him is zoo of some kind? I think the conservative side will definately need some sort of zoo full of statists. I'd say that we want to keep Orcha Winfrey and Rosie in the zoo too, but I don't think we can afford the food bill. Does Purina make "Lib Chow"? Maybe some sort of tofu and recycled Birkenstock slurry....

[sniper7]

Ive seen this passed around in many emails. if only it could be true!