OH NOESSSSSSSSS - The IRS has a Warrant Our for My Imminent Arrest

[wctriumph]

I tell them that I have a call on the other line and ask them to wait a minute and then put them on hold. Some of then have actually still been on the line as long as three to four minutes before hanging up.

[Monky]

I think it's more fun to play along... the whole swatting thing... Might have to rethink my tactics

[Martinjmpr]

I know exactly what the IRS does when they think you owe back taxes because last year I opened up the mail in early June and saw a letter from the IRS stating that we had failed to declare income on our 2013 taxes and owed $14,000 in back taxes and penalties.

Turns out when my wife rolled over one of her IRAs the receiving institution never notified the IRS that the account was rolled over into another deferred account so it was counted as both an early distribution and unreported income and since it was undeclared they also socked us with a $3000 penalty.

The good news is that my wife is like the most organized person on the planet. She went right to the file cabinet, pulled out ALL of the supporting documentation, I made copies, drafted a nice little legal brief and we fired it off to the IRS. 2 months later we got a letter back from them saying the matter was resolved and nothing was due. Lesson learned: Keep records of anything related to 401k, IRA, or anything else that could be reported as income.

[brutal]

I always have to pay and always push the dates out a little. Consequently, I know there will be another letter coming for addl penalties.

The fun part is getting the FINAL NOTICE GARNISHMENT FORTHCOMING letter first. Never any others mind you, always the scary one first, seems they're too busy to mail the first two or three.

[HoneyBadger]

Send them to this guys anti telemarketer bot next time they call. http://jollyrogertelephone.com

Thank you. I just bookmarked this.

[yz9890]

I got this sweet email last week. It's amazing anyone out there falls for this idiocy. I especially like how he refers to his "Oval Office".

Our Ref: FGN/CBN/0N8/CONTRACT NO.856.

To. Beneficiary:

This is David Mark Spencer an FBI Covert operations specialist and we are here in Nigeria as an FBI and the UNITED NATION delegates that have been delegated to investigate some of these known fraudsters who are in the business of swindling online businesses and foreigners that came for transaction in Nigeria and some parts of West Africa which is our known area of investigation.

Please be informed that during the course our covert investigation, we found out that there is a total sum amount of money $2.5million that has been assigned in your name as the beneficiary though still a bit sketchy we still need to ratify your details since these set of fraudsters are busy swindling you and other without any hope of receiving the fund.

These are the various activities carried out by these known and unknown criminals who perpetrate such evil works on unsuspecting business owners of the fraudsters who needed to extort money from you in the name of this transfer. We have to inform you that we have made some arrested in respect of this delayed over due fund. I have a very limited time to stay in Nigeria here so I advise you urgently respond to this message .

These criminals will be caught unaware and we don't want them to know this new development to avoid jeopardizing our investigation, you may need to conceal anything that has to do with this exercise to
enable us get all the necessary information we required.


Meanwhile, you are advice to get back to my oval office on this email ID :stevenmark188021@yahoo.co.th immediately with the requested details to enable us have your correct details to redirect your belated funds.

1. Your full name:.
2. Your telephone numbers:
3. Your full home address:.
4. Your Company address and position.
5. Your Age and Sex.

I shall be expecting your swift response as soon as you receive this email.stevenmark188021@yahoo.co.th

Best Regard,

Mark D Spencer
Federal Bureau of Investigation
Foreign Affirs Select Committee Abuja


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[yz9890]

Just got this one this morning. There's a ton of money in Nigeria with my name on it for some reason. And my own government is there to help me get it. (that alone is enough to tell me it's a scam)

OFFICE OF HOMELAND SECURITY
Immigration and Customs Enforcement
U.S. Department of Homeland Security,
Street S.W. Suite 322.Atlanta Georgia 30303
2160 Park-lake Drive Northeast, Atlanta - 1694 Phoenix Parkway, Atlanta
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Atlanta Area. Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit
Authority ( MARTA) The MOTTO of ICE is "INTEGRITY, COURAGE, and EXCELLENCE"
Email: ( homelandsecdpt05@gmail.com )

UNITED STATES DEPT. OF HOMELAND SECURITY SEEKING TO WIRE-TAP THE INTERNET.
GOOD DAY,

DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL OF TRANSFER FOR FINAL FUND RELEASE.

We received your email and you must take note that this is for real because
we are ready to take you to any length if you failed to proof the
legitimate of the fund you are about to receive, As a Federal Commission we
are here to protect your interest and the interest of all the United State
citizens as well as this great Nation, You have been investigated as the
beneficiary of the said funds that is why you are in touch with the FBI for
a solid proof before the funds will be release to you.

The said funds is now in U.S Bank in your name which has been placed on
hold under the custody of the FBI for further verification and proof before
releasing the fund to you, we further held a meeting with the United nation
in person of the President Muhammadu Buhari, where they finally concluded
that every of our American citizen should stop every upfront payment
because your so called partner will keep asking more money after money, and
fund will not be released to you.

They finally concluded that every American citizen must posses a Vital
Classified Document called Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer that
overrule every upfront payment fee and certificates,You do not have this
document in your files, if you did the fund would not have been put
on-hold, We did not believe this at first, but when we saw the transfer we
had no option than to contact you, We have gone through your Identification
record and also the information received from you, we have verified a lot
of things about you.

It has come to the attention of our Money Trafficking investigation
department, that you have some funds valued at U.S in USA dollars to your
name, The said payment is awaiting adjudication and crediting to you, this
funds are from Inheritance 'willed ' from C.B.N Bank Nigeria precisely.

With full concern of The F.B.I and the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) wish
to remind you of the consequences of remitting such huge sums of money
without complying fully with the provisions of the Financial and Allied
Matters Decree 5 as amended in sub-section C (6) of 2010, which stipulates
that any monitory transaction been done in the United States Of America,
must have proper records, which duly guarantees and covers the transaction
as legitimate and legally acquired and not criminally or terrorist
associated funds, This is due to ongoing terrorist activities/economic
crimes on and against the United States of America citizens.

Note that with the information's we have here, the fund in your name here
was release from Federal Republic Of Nigeria, To this regard you are to
contact the EFCC Nigeria where the fund was release from so that they will
issue you the required document because they are the only people that can
issue you the document. Nobody else have the right or privilege to issue
you this document unless the EFCC Nigeria.

You are under an observational /Investigation in connection with money
laundering. If your funds comes from a legitimate and legal source, the
proper guidelines for you to recover the right of transaction is for you to
provide the official monitory transaction release document so that your
funds will be legally processed and recorded and accounted for and then
finally released to you.

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONEY LAUNDERING
DEPARTMENT) IS HERE to wipe out terrorism, and will stop at no length in
doing our duty for the American people.

You have 92 hours to produce legal proof of the below frozen wired
transaction number code: AZQV9007 owned by you. Note that you do not have
any rights to receive these funds if the documented legal wire information
is not completed.

For your own good and benefit, you are advice not to send your money to
anybody except the below person that will get the document for you, It has
come to our notice that you have been dealing with some set of Impostors
regarding the present transaction in your name, with the power imposed on
us as a high Federal Commission, you are hereby warn and instruction to
terminate your involvement with any people or individual contacting you
regarding this present transaction.

The said funds is now in our custody in your name as the beneficiary, your
dealings should be channel to this office alone, if we find out you are
still communicating with Impostor's you will be charge for advance fraud
communication by the Federal Law.

The very heart of FBI operations lies in our investigations which serve as
our mission states, to protect and defend the United States against
terrorist and foreign intelligence threats and to enforce the criminal laws
of the United States,So follow our instructions properly to avoid any
action before you. pay any fee to them, they will ask for more We currently
have jurisdiction over violations of more than 200 categories of federal
law.

So you can see that we can track you down through Investigative programs,
We have your address and the evidence and status of your wired funds, so we
can arrest you any time anywhere, so contact them with required fee and the
mtcn in receipt of this message, because the document is very mandatory.

You don't have the required document on your possession, these document are
only to be issue to you from the paying country NIGERIA, to this regards
you are advice to contact the EFCC NIGERIA to obtain the document from them
to enable the immediate release of the funds in your name without
entertaining any interrogation and avoid any further delay.

We have done our verification on your FBI Identification Record with your
Social Security Number, the only document left is the required Diplomatic
Immunity Seal of Transfer (DIST) Which should be issue to you from the
paying country of the said funds, you are to contact the ECONOMIC AND
FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC) Nigeria to obtain the above required
document, find below their contact information's:

Contact Person: Mr IBRAHIM LAMORDE
Email: ( efccfile01@consultant.com )
Tel: +234-80-8459-1264
Furthermore, be advice that according to the United State Law together with
the FBI rules and regulations, you are to obtain the document from the EFCC
NIGERIA where the fund was transfer from, Also Note that you are to take
care of the Document to be issued to you right away, because due to the
content of the document and how important the secured document is, You are
advised to take care of the document by requesting for the payment
information and sending the fee to the EFCC NIGERIA the sum of $150 Dollars
only for the issuing of the document right away and your fund will be
release to you, That is the only way the EFCC NIGERIA will issue you the
document, because they are going to issue you the Authentic and Original
copy of the document for the release of your fund.

You are here by advice to Contact them through the email address above to
acquire from them on how you are going to send the fee to them. Note that
you are to do this immediately if you really want your fund to be credited
to your personal account and also if you don't want any action to be fall
before you, We have already informed the EFCC NIGERIA about the present
situation, so go ahead and contact them immediately.

Your fund is now on our custody and will not be release to you unless the
required document is confirmed, After that the fund will be release to you
immediately without any delay.

NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most
complete and up-to date records possible for no criminal justice purposes.

WARNING: Failure to produce the above requirement in the next 96 hours,
legal action will be taken immediately by proper authority and may be
disastrous to anyone who fail to have the said document,while
transfer,justification and if found guilty, you will be jailed As
terrorism, drug trafficking and money laundering is a serious problem in
our community today.

The F.B.I will not stop at any length in tracking down and prosecuting any
criminal who indulges in this criminal act.

CC: Canadian Police Association
CC: GENERAL INTELLIGENCE DEPARTMENT (GID)
CC: Asia Pacific Group on Money Laundering (APG)
CC: Egmont Group
CC: FEDERAL BURUEA OF INVESTIGATION(FBI USA)
CC: European Bank for Reconstruction and Development (EBRD)
CC: Financial Action Task Force (FATF)
CC: International Monetary Fund (IMF)
CC: International Organization of Securities Commissions (IOSCO)
CC: International Banking Security Association (IBSA)
CC: International Air Transport Association (IATA)
CC: Institute de Formation Interbancaire (INSIG)
CC: World Customs Organization (WCO)
CC: Inter-American Development Bank (IADB)
CC: Offshore Group of Banking Supervisors (OGBS)
CC: WORLD CENTRAL BANK (SW)
CC: NIGERIA POLICE FORCE (NPF)
CC: NORTH YORKSHIRE POLICE (UK)
CC: ECONOMIC FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC)

FORWARD THE DOCUMENT TO US VIA EMAIL ATTACHMENT AS SOON AS YOU OBTAIN IT
AFTER WHICH YOU MUST HAVE EFFECTED THE PAYMENT SUM OF $150 TO THE BELOW
INFORMATION WHILE YOU PROVIDE THE MTCN TO MR IBRAHIM LAMORDE WITH THE ABOVE
EFCC EMAIL OFFICE ADDRESS FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE (DIST) DOCUMENT TO BE
AVAILABLE.

Receiver's Name: BEN KOJO
Sender's Name and Address.
TextQuestion: IN GOD
Text Answer: WE TRUST
Amount:$150 USD.
Destination:Abuja-Nigeria.

N:B:YOU NEED NOT TO CONTACT HER AT ALL IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD THE FEE, THEN
YOU WILL FALL TO THE CATEGORIES OF THOSE THAT THERE FUND WILL BE RETURN
BACK TO THE CBN TREASURY OFFICE IN NIGERIA WHERE THE CONTRACT IS BEEN
EXECUTED.

Only re-confirm to her the following information below when you are
effecting the payment of $150 while you follow instructions by using the
above payment information given to you and Get back to this office as soon
as you have done that for clarification, failure to adhere strictly with
this instruction will definitely lead to lost because as a result of
payment cancellation.

1.BENEFICIARY NAME AND ADDRESS.
2.BENEFICIARY TELEPHONE NUMBER.
3.BENEFICIARY AGE/OCCUPATION.
4.BENEFICIARY MARITAL STATUS

The above information will be acknowledge by the serious ones effecting the
payment above mentioned fee being payment for the issuance of the said
documents keeping your fund on-hold here in the United State,then We will
not hesitate to do the needful as soon as we confirm your payment for the
issuance of the (DIST) document and Your on-hold fund will be released
immediately here in the United State.

Best Regards.
Keith B. Bolcar
Email: ( homelandsecdpt05@gmail.com )
Deputy Secretary. (Homeland Security.)
United States Department of Homeland Security.
HARTS FIELD-JACKSON ATLANTA CBP DEPT. HOMELAND SECURITY
Tel#213)537-2170
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[speedysst]

I rather enjoyed the emails advising me of my court dates in states where Id never been. Those were always entertaining, especially the part where it says if I dont show up, judgement will be against me.

[Martinjmpr]

From all those emails you'd get the idea that Nigeria must be the richest country on earth.

[MAP]

The singular of NO is NO, is the plural of NO NOES or NOS or NOZE or KNOWS or KNOZE?

I'm supposed to call Brian at an 818 exchange to get this straightened out, I'll probably need to give my my SS and CC numbers.


Just how stupid do these scammers think we are? Do they think we're as stupid as the democrats and rinos think we are?

ETA - I can't spell OUT either.

My wife got the same call yesterday. I'd like to arrange a meeting for payment but I'm not allowed. :-(