Congratulations! I'll say it, because there is no way you can hear this enough: your wife is absolutely lovely, and your kids are precious!

I've often found that when people hit a certain age, they justify their bad behavior by convincing themselves that they "earned it." The guy couldn't even get your rank right. Someone probably pissed in his Wheaties that morning, and he felt justified in trying to "demand" respect. Of all the days, and of all the elevators, he had to pick yours! So now you've got a story to tell at barbecues, right before you roll your eyes, shake your head and take a drink of beer before flipping the burgers.

Court House weddings are the BEST. The spouse and I got hitched at one, and the judge was wearing the loudest plaid pants and blazer I've ever seen- did I mention they were two different types of plaid?