F#ckin Hippies. I'm so tired of them.

[GilpinGuy]

Kind of a rant, but more of a story

Location: Nederland, CO
Time: 1 hour ago

There I am, strolling through the produce isle of the local grocery store, walking in a straight line, browsing and picking out some of the fine selection of fresh fruits and veggies (lol) and deciding what to make for the kiddos for dinner. My phone rings - it's my wife. I answer.

During the "I forgot to tell you to get this and that" conversation, a filthy 20 something hippy chick bumps against my shoulder and mumbles something.

I instinctively say, "Oh, sorry."

Now, I didn't bump into her - she bumped into me from behind, but I was being polite. Keep in mind the isle is like 15 feet wide. Plenty of room to go around me.

Now the good part.

Filthy hippie: (mumbles in a pussy passive aggressive way) If you weren't on your stupid cell phone blah blah blah (inaudible)........ as she walks away.

Me: I'm sorry, what? (She ignores me) What did you say?

Filthy hippie: You wouldn't have to be sorry if you weren't on your stupid cell phone!

Me: What? YOU bumped into ME?

Filthy hippie: You would have seen me coming if you weren't on your phone!

Me: (laughing) I don't have eyes in the back of my head!

Filthy hippie: You shouldn't be on your phone.

Me: Who the fuck asked your opinion, hippie? (maybe I should have left out the hippie part, but I am sick and tired of them around here)

Filthy hippie: (look of total shock, wide eyed, mouth open)

At this point my wife asks what the hell is going on, so I tell her loud enough for the filthy hippie to hear:

"Some filthy hippie doesn't like that I'm talking to you. Fuck her. What were you saying?"

Filthy hippie again mumbles something as she walks away and I just say "Have a nice day!"

As I'm at the register checking out, filthy hippie strolls behind me to check out. She looks up and sees me, realizes I'm standing there, and them immediately goes to another register.

All of that was worth not having to smell her stench for 30 seconds at check out.

(I wonder much stolen merchandise she had stashed under her filthy shirt?)

[jmg8550]

I really don't have that problem here...

I was in Ft. Collins the other day though, what a shit show that place turned into.

[zteknik]

420- Colorado legal.....
I say ship them all to Hickenpooper so they can camp out on his lawn..

[Jamnanc]

Nice rant. 9/10.

[hurley842002]

I think you handled it just fine, eff'em all! I'm contemplating moving closer to our southern border (AZ) to get away from the trash, that's how much I despise them.

[beast556]

Yep no shortage of hippy douch bag peice of shit low life mother fucking dirt bag scum free loaders up here. It makes me sick when I see every corner with 20year olds begging for money. Cali can't legalize weed fast enough to get some of these peices of shit out of colorado.

[GilpinGuy]

I think you handled it just fine, eff'em all! I'm contemplating moving closer to our southern border (AZ) to get away from the trash, that's how much I despise them.

Idaho is on our list. We're going there next week to check it out.

[Rooskibar03]

Someone cue the movie audience clapping gif for a good rant.

[Tinelement]

If my shop wasn't doing so good I'd be hounding my wife to peace outta here. She's a native and I think I could talk her into leaving. It's getting beyond ridiculous. And the hippy pot growers have all the commercial space taken up, that's a whole nother rant...

[BushMasterBoy]

In Pueblo she would have just grabbed your phone and ran to a waiting hoopty.