I was considering joining the Apathy party but I just didn't care enough to change my voter registration.
I was considering joining the Apathy party but I just didn't care enough to change my voter registration.
Martin
If you love your freedom, thank a veteran. If you love to party, thank the Beastie Boys. They fought for that right.
Reason #1: “Why Choose The Lesser Evil?”
Really, has choosing the lesser evil ever worked for America? And when there’s no clear “lesser evil,” the obvious choice has to be the greatest evil, ever. Go big or go home, right?
Reason #2: “Ph’nglui Mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh Wgah’nagl Fhtagn!”
The first time I heard deep ones chanting this at a Cthulhu rally, it just resonated with me, at a deep, primal, I think I’m about to lose control of my bowels level. I mean, how could you hear that and not want to engage in human sacrifice and mate with a nearly immortal amphibious race?
Reason #3: Social Justice
Look, I’m tired of the oligarchs rigging the system and treating the rest of us like we’re chattel. So, I say we make everyone chattel, from the politicians to the middle class to the people on welfare. Let’s just clear the board, level the playing field, and make everyone equally oppressed and disposable. Because remember, to Cthulhu, #nolivesmatter.
Reason #4: Jobs
The fact is, there simply aren’t enough jobs to go around for everyone. Well, Cthulhu (long may he slumber) is the only candidate with a solid and workable jobs platform. “Kill off the excess population,” he says, “and we’ll have jobs for everyone.” Brilliant.
Reason #5: The Wall
Look, whether you want to admit it or not, giant albino penguins are a problem for everyone. They take our jobs, eat our faces off, and they can’t make a decent chimichanga.
But under Cthulhu’s rule, no more giant albino penguins! He has promised us a wall of shoggoths, who will eat the giant penguins as they are crossing the border. A simple, effective solution.
And for those who ask, “But who will pay for the shoggoths?” I say, let the penguins pay, with their lives. Suck it, naysayers.
A Final Plea
Your vote can make a difference!
Sure, once this election is over, we’ll still have the same problems with poverty, income inequality, crippling national debt, a fiat currency on the brink of collapse, and the fact that Firefly is never going to get a revival on Netflix…
…but at least we’ll be united in being crushed under the heel of an utterly evil and absolutely soulless extra-dimensional entity who just wants to bring about the utter destruction of humankind.
Now, who’s with me? Cthulhu 2016!
Light a fire for a man, and he'll be warm for a day, light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life...
Discussion is an exchange of intelligence. Argument is an exchange of
ignorance. Ever found a liberal that you can have a discussion with?
In the next four years, we will see:
1. Gun legislation that will change how and what we can purchase
2. First cut at socialized medicine and increased tax burden
3. Shift in international monetary policy and recession
4. Major terror attack on US soil
5. Further erosion of US sovereignty and increased influence of multi-nationals and UN policy.
It'll be awesome! The only silver lining is that maybe...perhaps maybe, people of different philosophies might actually come together to stop it....but, I doubt it.
Last edited by MED; 10-18-2016 at 14:57.
I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
Thomas Jefferson
Feedback
This is awesome. It's kind of like being set on fire then hopping on a motorcycle and riding towards a cliff with the throttle pinned back and banging through the gears.
Or maybe like diving face first into a wood chipper, naked and with a smile on your face.
Maybe the first president impeached and sent to jail for a long time. Research Arkansas and her husbands activities there. Dumb ass Congress!
If you're in Colorado and you don't vote for trump, by default you're voting for hillary. No matter what snowflake feelings you have.
I'm with roberth on this! Law and order is dead, just look at what Comey did.
Look at the Supreme Court reinventing the word "state."
Then you have all of Obama's extralegal actions (big and small), his illegal wars, and weaponing the Federal government against his political enemies (IRS). Along with the complete support/collaboration by the Presstitutes who are support to be our Fourth Branch to check and balance.