Explaining transgenders to an 11 yo boy

[GilpinGuy]

My 11 year old son is in 5th grade. After school today I asked him the standard stuff like "what did you learn in school today?" He goes through the list, then starts to tell me about a new book they are reading called "Lily and Dunkin" by Donna Gephart. He tells me it's about someone who's going into 8th grade who "is a boy, but is really a girl....." I stopped him and said "What?'" He went on to explain that he is transgender with bipolar depression. WTF?

I asked to see this book and he said the teacher is reading it in class. I downloaded the sample of the book to my Kindle and sure enough, within the first dozen pages or so, the character said something like "I'm a girl trapped in a boys body."


Here I am with an 11 year old boy who I'm teaching to be a man. And this is what he gets in school. This all happened a few hours ago and I'm a little, I don't know, annoyed at this shit I guess. I have no fear that my son will suddenly morph into a transgender or anything, but jeeez, they're pushing this shit on 5th graders?

One thing that bugs me is that he's read a bunch of books in school. He always brings them home, reads every night and enjoys telling us about the stories. This story is being read by the teacher in the classroom and she has the only copy. Maybe my tinfoil hat is on, but something tells me this is by design so parents don't object when they see it. Most parents are completely disconnected from what their kids do or learn in school anyway so most probably have no idea.

I'm not really looking for advice here, just sort of ranting. I'll be explaining to my son what real men and women are and what our beliefs are. All I've said to him so far is "Look, boys are boys and girls are girls. Boys wearing girls clothes are still boys and are just pretending to be girls. I don't care what your teacher says, there is no such thing as a boy who's really a girl." This weekend we'll be having a more in depth talk after I read the rest of this book. If his teacher has a problem with that I tell him we can have a discussion.

[bobbyfairbanks]

I would not send my child back to school till some heads rolled. Higher a homeschooler. That teacher needs to get crushed for teaching that with parental consent

[rondog]

You'd probably be mortified at some of the other shit they're teaching him too. And it's just starting.

[Great-Kazoo]

Good, bad, indifferent it's a reality we deal with day in ,day out. How you choose to deal with it with your kids is up to you. If it were me i'd ask if the school was going to include books about male & female parenting.

[sniper7]

I'd write a note that he is not to be in class during the reading of that book and he is to read a different book on his own. Even if that means writing more papers or whatever. I'd also talk with the principal on whether this book is authorized, if the principal even knows about it and what curriculum they are teaching with the reading of this book.

[jhood001]

Acceptance, diversity, etc. should be taught at home. Not at school.

With that said, I don't see how a book like that is going to impede your efforts of teaching your 11 year old to be a man.

[Irving]

A little boy in my daughter's class decided he wanted to be a girl in second grade. He's been a "girl" ever since, and they are all in the 4th grade now. A lot of parents were initially upset and talked to the teacher and principal. He still acts like the asshole little boy with shitty/no parents as he did before, only now he dresses like a girl and added an "a" to the end of his name. Everyone likes to talk tough online about what they would, or wouldn't do, but almost none of that matters. The school isn't going to tell them that they can't do that, and the parents have opinions on it long, long after any of the kids do. I think your explanation of a little boy "pretending" to be a girl about sums it up. Much longer of an opinionated explanation of why you do or don't agree with that is going to be lost on most K-12 kids anyway. There are plenty of other, more difficult, social obstacles that kids will have to navigate and overcome over the course of their schooling. To kids, it's just another weird kid at the school. I thought the Jehova's Witness kid growing up was a weirdo, and that's about as much as I thought about it. I was way too involved with myself to even talk to him about why he didn't celebrate his own birthday.

So, there are plenty of reasons to take your kids out of public school, but there is rarely one single issue that outweighs any other. You can ask that your kid can't be in class while they read the book, but big deal. The first thing they are going to do is ask their friends all about the book, then they'll get the little kid interpretation, which is probably even further away from whatever you're trying to instill in the kids. We just refer to that kid as a boy, because he is one. My daughter and her friends refer to him as "it," and he's even in her circle of friends. Like I said, just another weird kid at school. My opinion is that trying to insulate your kids from things like this is just a futile waste of your time, especially if there is a transgender kid in the school. Handling issues like this are the exact same as handling every other thing your kids will learn. I personally had a more difficult time trying to explain September 11th to my kids than the little boy who wants to be a girl.

[WETWRKS]

More and more you are going to learn that public schools are not your friend. Between the various sex ed teachings, liberal indoctrinations, anti-gun teaching, pro- drug teaching...if you don't want your kid taught these philosophies then you need to look at home schooling or private schools.

[Jonsey]

This one is my personal favorite. The Gender Unicorn.
http://www.transstudent.org/gender
My boys and I had a hearty laugh about it and then went back to learning facts.

[Ah Pook]

GG, in GC?! TG and BP are two and very different things. Stay the path above all else. Kids need role model.

We need a drank!! M&T after 5:00. W&T after 7:00.