My brother and I were recently discussing how one would make a device that could be surrounded by fecal matter (dog, cat, some other smelly animal) that would detonate with enough force to distribute the feces but not enough to do harm (so as to avoid crossing the line of the law) once it lost a blutooth or wifi connection. That way you connect it electronically to your network and then once its driven out of range it goes off. We decided that the electronics involved would be too valuable to allow to be stolen so maybe some other method would work better.

But yeah, "how to deal with thieves" is the only thing the arab/islamic world has right.