Two years ago, after a decent hail storm, our neighborhood was CRAWLING with roofing companies. If they weren't knocking on our door, they were leaving damn leaflets and brochures all over the porch. I caught the brochure-stuffing door knocker on the second day, pointed out my "No Trespassing" sign, and politely asked him to no longer bother us. He was a twenty-something kid that mumbled something, but left.

On the third day, I came home to another brochure on my door. I walked down the block until I found the kid, whipped out my cell phone and started recording video. "If I find one more goddamn brochure on my door, I WILL hunt down the owner of your company and dump every brochure in this neighborhood on his doorstep, and I will call the sheriff on you. Now I have video evidence to telling you to stay off my property. Do. You. Understand."

I never received another brochure from that company. Alas, four more stepped up to take their place. Roofing companies must be a front for Hydra.