Teen Suicides. Scary Times

[jslo]

Well today has not started out to good.
First my son, who works for me, was late....again. come to find out my granddaughter, a junior at Arapahoe, is dealing with the second suicide in the last 10 days of a classmate.
Then I get a call from my wife. She went up to West Jeff middle school to watch a couple of our younger grandkids at their field day fundraiser. They have now been in a "lock-in" for over 2 hours with no information, as of yet.

I struggle to understand this world anymore.

[GilpinGuy]

I got a notification from my kids school yesterday about a kid threatening to "self harm" themself. It's hard to understand this stuff.

[Little Dutch]

Sorry to hear this.

I have done no independent verification, but there are a lot of articles talking about how teen suicide is "contagious". One is often followed by several more.

The self harm thing baffles me. I simply do not understand the psychology behind cutting.

[Squeeze]

Bullying is still ignored, "victim shaming" is apparently okay, many parents are working multiple jobs and the needs of the children often get buried in the day-to-day hustle to make ends meet, some of these kids are viciously cyber bullying in ways I've never imagined and then when something like this happens people are left holding the pieces wondering "why and how?"

[Wulf202]

I watched nephews best friend spiral down this route. I got told to butt out and what he needed was church. The father dumped him at church 3 days a week and ignored him so he could spend time impressing his new wife and step children, until the day he took his own life.

[BigBear]

Yeah, I'm a teacher in the public school system. I've been through several suicides of students in the schools I've been in... It's a very trying time for all involved. We even had one where it was a kid of a teacher. So sad. From my understanding, a lot of it is kids not knowing how to "deal" with the pressures of growing up/maturing/relationships/failing/etc. We don't let kids fail anymore, and I can tell you I've learned more from failing than ever having success in everything I do. We don't let them learn anymore either, it's all pushed down their throats on exactly what to do without them being able to ask "how or why". And then add to that the societal pressures of "romance/sexuality" and all the other "stuff" like drugs, bullying, etc. Then, a majority of parents have vacated the responsibility to "parent". School have taken on roles they shouldn't have to deal with. Kids broadcasting on social media every little thing they do (sometimes not smart/legal) that then blows up in their face. Them doing stupid things for "likes".... It all wraps up into a formula for tragic events... It is indeed a sad and scary time. I try to make sure all my students know that my door is always open to talk and/or help. But there are certain things that I am by law required to fly up the chain of command and most kids know that and don't want to talk about their issues for fear of school counselors or third parties getting involved.

So sad. Praying for all our kids.

[CS1983]

Regarding copycat suicides:

When we lived in Littleton, the priest at our parish had been a Naval Chaplain to Marines. Prior to becoming a priest, he had been a USMC Officer... infantry I believe.

As a chaplain, he had a commander come to him once and ask what he could do about a spate of suicides. He was blunt: stop making suicide a way to get attention; no more rallies, memorials, etc. beyond that which is necessary.

He said it works the same way in schools.

What happens is person 1 kills themselves. Others, seeing the attention and outpouring of support for the deceased, decide this is a good way to "be someone". So they kill themselves, too.

This continues until it becomes clear this is no longer a way to get attention, or at least positive attention.

Sounds harsh, but I tend to agree with him on this.

[jslo]

Well the "lock-in" was lifted but no information. Also realized I got the suicide timings incorrect. One was last Friday and the other yesterday. Have also heard rumors of a suicide pact with another possibly out there. Although I've heard it from two separate sources, and I typically wouldn't want to spread rumors, but if you have kids, grandkids, relatives or friends at Arapahoe High School I'd encourage you to talk to them. If there truly is a third one out there, they desperately need help.

[BigBear]

Regarding copycat suicides:

When we lived in Littleton, the priest at our parish had been a Naval Chaplain to Marines. Prior to becoming a priest, he had been a USMC Officer... infantry I believe.

As a chaplain, he had a commander come to him once and ask what he could do about a spate of suicides. He was blunt: stop making suicide a way to get attention; no more rallies, memorials, etc. beyond that which is necessary.

He said it works the same way in schools.

What happens is person 1 kills themselves. Others, seeing the attention and outpouring of support for the deceased, decide this is a good way to "be someone". So they kill themselves, too.

This continues until it becomes clear this is no longer a way to get attention, or at least positive attention.

Sounds harsh, but I tend to agree with him on this.

I agree too... we've also had that discussion in meetings.

[Gman]

Parents don't parent. My parents knew what I was doing and who I was running around with. When I lacked focus in areas they felt were more important, I didn't get to participate in bargaining the outcome and did what I was told...or else.

Teachers taught us basics and helped us get the tools so that we could learn on our own. Being an autodidact, there's really no limit to what you can learn or do. Providing someone the tools to learn how to use a computer is more significant than learning to use a computer, IMO. Computers and technology changes, so you better be able to keep teaching yourself.

Kids being taught that their self-esteem is the most important thing about themselves seems to create narcissists that get a twisted view of a world that can chew them up and spit them out without a concern. Life isn't fair. The world doesn't owe you anything. Life is tough. Get a helmet.

Social media has more negatives than positives, IMHO. The young really don't need to be bothered by it, and have the least ability to cope with it. Kids need to get their faces out of displays (and so do their parents) and interact with other kids and their parents. We didn't have this technology when I was growing up and I'm grateful (no photographic evidence of the stupid stuff we did in the name of 'fun'). We also didn't feel like we were missing out on anything.