Nuisance Bear Problem Solved

[GilpinGuy]

After 21 years of living up here in the high country, I had a bear finally bust through my trash defense. Xi/She/M/O/U/S/E/He tore open my bear box, which has obviously been repaired a few times from other brazen attacks, but never fully breached before. I must take action...now, like knee jerk reaction now.



I feel deeply bad for these bears, as they may have had a bad childhood, been subjected to parental abuse, voluntary drug use, single family situations, work for minimum wage as a teenager, need to buy clothes for school, want stuff they can't afford themselves, or just want somebody else's trash that isn't theirs, etc. So I don't want to any harm to come to these innocent creatures of course.

After a good, deep, feel-good contemplation of progressive thought, I found the perfect solution to this:



I ordered several of these plastic signs that I will post all over my property so bears know that they aren't allowed here.

Problem solved! Now I can just leave bags of trash sitting on my deck and not have to worry! I'm so dumb to not have thought of this sooner. I can't wait to see the bears look at the sign, shake their head in frustration, and walk away in the spring.

[Great-Kazoo]

How progressive of you to be that tolerant

[JohnnyEgo]

Fun nuisance bear story. Was in the Springs after the Waldo Canyon and Black Forest fires a few years back, which pushed the local bear population into the city with more frequency than normal. One of my coworkers was a smoker, and was always going out behind the hotel late at night to suck down some nicotine. She kept complaining about the bear that was in the hotel trash, but she was always full of drama, so we mostly ignored her. Then one day we came back to the hotel to find it surrounded by CSP and Wildlife officers with guns drawn. My coworker started getting really agitated about the bear. "What do you think they will do to it?," she whined. "Probably just hit it with a tranquilizer dart and relocate it somewhere else," I said. She looked really relieved. Then we heard "BLAM! BLAM!," with the unmistakable signature of a 12 gauge. I looked over at my coworker and said "Yep, high-power tranquilizer dart."

She still believes that bear was peacefully relocated. I also believe it was relocated, most likely in front of a fireplace at a Wildlife Officer's mountain cabin.

[Ah Pook]

Dude, back off the Red Bulls.

[GilpinGuy]

Dude, back off the Red Bulls.

Pipe down flatlander. Come up for some ribs one of these days.

[Gman]

This is how I feel about signs in Free Kill Zones.

[BushMasterBoy]

Electric fence. If you get a game cam, your videos will go viral on here. LMAO

[.455_Hunter]

After 21 years of living up here in the high country, I had a bear finally bust through my trash defense. Xi/She/M/O/U/S/E/He tore open my bear box, which has obviously been repaired a few times from other brazen attacks, but never fully breached before. I must take action...now, like knee jerk reaction now.



I feel deeply bad for these bears, as they may have had a bad childhood, been subjected to parental abuse, voluntary drug use, single family situations, work for minimum wage as a teenager, need to buy clothes for school, want stuff they can't afford themselves, or just want somebody else's trash that isn't theirs, etc. So I don't want to any harm to come to these innocent creatures of course.

After a good, deep, feel-good contemplation of progressive thought, I found the perfect solution to this:



I ordered several of these plastic signs that I will post all over my property so bears know that they aren't allowed here.

Problem solved! Now I can just leave bags of trash sitting on my deck and not have to worry! I'm so dumb to not have thought of this sooner. I can't wait to see the bears look at the sign, shake their head in frustration, and walk away in the spring.

Now you just need a "compassionate" liberal to offer emotional counseling for the bear who is a victim of your microaggressions.

[SuperiorDG]

Just pee on it.

[ChickNorris]

Just pee on it.

Won't deter a bear

Might be a hippie attractant though so use sparingly.