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  1. #1
    Ammosexual GilpinGuy's Avatar
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    Default Funny relatives holiday stories

    My wife's cousin in law (I guess) just told everyone that her daughter would only eat if she first had a cocktail of milk and chamomile first. My mom and dad would have just said "more for us!".

  2. #2
    Machine Gunner
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    The child will eat if they are hungry. No special meals and no special meals made between normal meals. They won't starve to death and they will eventually eat what is served when it is served.
    If you want peace, prepare for war.

  3. #3
    OtterbatHellcat
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    At a family Christmas with mom's side, a gift was opened by an uncle of mine. It was a crochet cock and ball sack warmer boldly displaying the stars and stripes of our great country.

    I was a kid at the time, and I've never asked him if he still has that gift. lol.


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  4. #4
    Ammosexual GilpinGuy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OtterbatHellcat View Post
    At a family Christmas with mom's side, a gift was opened by an uncle of mine. It was a crochet cock and ball sack warmer boldly displaying the stars and stripes of our great country.

    I was a kid at the time, and I've never asked him if he still has that gift. lol.
    I want one. Just so I can casually walk out of the bathroom on the 4th of July and be like, "What?".

  5. #5
    OtterbatHellcat
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    Quote Originally Posted by GilpinGuy View Post
    I want one. Just so I can casually walk out of the bathroom on the 4th of July and be like, "What?".
    You just made me laugh harder than I have in weeks. TY.


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  6. #6
    QUITTER Irving's Avatar
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    I just heard that same story today on a pod cast where people were writing in about Christmas gifts. That's great.

  7. #7
    BIG PaPa ray1970's Avatar
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    Sometimes I enjoy a cocktail before a meal myself.

  8. #8
    The "Godfather" of COAR Great-Kazoo's Avatar
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    My dad's side was their parents and 6 kids. Living on a 3 floor walk up, in a 2 br, 1 ba apt in the city. We'd journey in for either Christmas or Thanksgiving. The grandparents, our parents, aunts, uncles and approx 15-20 grand kids. A 50 gun safe was larger than their kitchen, with a hallway running 4'w x 20' l Which is where us grand kids sat.

    Stories, where would you like me to start ?

    As with any family gathering. The stories can get lost if you weren't there.
    Trying to picture us playing stickball when the local yutes engaged in one of their zip gun fights, across the rooftops, was funny. Providing it wasn't your parents car they snapped the antenna off of. Then all hell broke loose.

    I know there was lots of yelling and cursing when football was on.
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    "when you're happy you enjoy the melody but, when you're broken you understand the lyrics".

  9. #9
    Gong Shooter fj605's Avatar
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    Four years ago, we were up at my in-laws and my brother-in-law received a virtual reality headset. We all tried it out and it was cool. When my wife's 90 yr old grandmother tried it, she reached for and grabbed a handrail she saw on the headset. The "handrail" was my wife's cousin's crotch. Words cannot describe the horror on his face when she grabbed ahold.
    There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

  10. #10
    Ammosexual GilpinGuy's Avatar
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    Just 10 mins ago, we finished up the white elephant chaos and I spotted a bottle of Stranahan's sitting on top of the cabinets. I asked the host if he was gonna bust it out and he's like "I don't drink that shit....it's yours if you want it."

    Best conclusion to white elephant ever and I didn't even need to steal.

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