We were talking about the Royal turmoil tonight, of which I know nothing. I don't know what the latest uproar is, but brought it up jokingly. Turns out it is a huge deal among every girl, everywhere.

I tonight learned much more about them than I ever wanted to know. When I brought up that Harry is not Royal since his mother was married into the family and his father is in question, I was lambasted AND chastised.

When I imagined a scenario in which the Queen mother was scraping the yellow buildup from under her toenails with a digger from a nutcracker set while deriding her grandchildren, filter-less Lucky Strike dangling from the corner of her mouth, I thought I was okay, until I realized I had inadvertently referred to her as "the old c...".

It was suddenly very cold in my house and the bedroom door slammed.

I guess I am in the sleepy bag with Popcorn tonight.