If my mother had seen video evidence of me acting like a fucking animal like that when I was 13 she'd still be beatin' my ass, 47 years later.

And she'd still be talkin' shit to me while she was beatin' me:

I *WHACK* TOLD *WHACK* YOU *WHACK* TO *WHACK* BEHAVE *WHACK* YOURSELF *WHACK*

I'm also thinking she'da made "yourself" two words to get an extra *WHACK* in.