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  1. #1
    Dances with Foxes
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    Nov 2009
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    Default Chevy Chase doesn’t have a thing on me (sledding)!

    Remember this scene from Christmas vacation? Had my own version today, I’ll try to make this brief.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpCVrzVr97M

    Clark: "This is a new non-caloric silicon-based kitchen lubricant my company has been working on. It creats a surface 500 times more slippery than any cooking oil. Ahhh! We're really going to fly down the hill with this stuff."

    Russ: "Has anyone ever used it on a sled?"

    Clark: "Not that I know of, Russ."

    So…I have my lady’s mother and young niece out from MN for a week. We planned all the basic CO tourist stuff, been having a great time and one of the activities on the agenda…sledding. I haven’t been in years so…I’ll do it right I thought.

    Went down to the ACE store in Conifer earlier last week to get some gear and low and behold…there she was…a shiny saucer sled, just like the ones I used to ride as a kid…gotta have it I thought. Grabbed her up along with a plastic two-seater and headed for the homestead…all was well. On the way I started thinkin’ (bad idea)…"I know…I’ll wax this baby up and have er’ nice-n-ready for the little one when she gets here."

    Over the course of last week I waxed her up, McGuires (sp?) car wax 3 times, warm wax, cool-down in the garage for a day or two, re-wax…buff…"yeah…this ought to do the trick!" Nah...let me put one more coat of NuFinish on too...just to make sure...

    I drive by a "little hill" near an open space park just North of Conifer all the time, "that looks easy, we’ll go there" I planned.

    Went today…all prepared…the shiny saucer ready to rock! Got to the top of the "little hill," many folks around sledding, tubing, etc., “looks simple” I said to myself. Forgot to bring a pillow to sit on but…that never crossed my mind…until about 3 minutes later.

    With a few motivational comments from the cheap-seats forcing me to go first, I jumped on and with a slight push…WAAAAAAAAAAA…the little saucer turned into a nitro-fueled dragster, hit mach 1 within 3 seconds! Of course…my ass and lower back found every possible rock, jump and hole on the hill…anything that could do physical damage…I found it and at a high rate of speed…just a thin piece of steel and my ass…BAM…BAM…BAM…thought it would never end.

    I do recall screams and cheers from innocent bystanders as I flew by…”WOW…look at that dude…” “What IS that thing?” At least...I think those were the things they were saying as they grabbed small children with fear and terror in their eyes!

    I did 5 rides in all (I’m stoopid), my little saucer now looks like the face of the moon (cratered steel dents everywhere), my body is a wreck and…damn…I had a blast sleddin’. Ahhhh…to be a kid again (I’m far from it).

    BTW - The little niece, after seeing my exploits (chaos), decided she didn't want to sled today....hmmmmmmm


  2. #2
    Fleeing Idaho to get IKEA Bailey Guns's Avatar
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    Default

    Funny story!

    My wife and I go sledding on that hill at Meyer Ranch Open Space occasionally.

    Last time we went I tried to show her how I was gonna sled down the hill while standing up on the sled...

    She throws the term "dumbass" around frequently when she talks about me.

  3. #3
    Guest
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    Default

    Rock on, that is a great story. I was thinking of using astroglide or some crap in a silver black bottle (can not remember the name) but that crap is super slippery and may just work well.....not to sure though.

  4. #4
    COAR SpecOps Team Leader theGinsue's Avatar
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    Awesome. That story reminds me of using those disk sleds in my youth - but never with any sort of wax or lubricant (are you nuts?).

    Come to think of it, all of thespeedy/bumpy rides down the slopes of my youth may just have something to do with my perpetual back pains.
    Ginsue - Admin
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