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  1. #1
    Thinks Rambo Was A Wussy Ranger's Avatar
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    Default The Woman Marine Pilot

    The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

    The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.

    “Janie, do you have a story to share?'

    ''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

    She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

    ''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?

    "Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."
    "...quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est." [...a sword never kills anybody; it's a tool in the killer's hand.] -- (Lucius Annaeus) Seneca "the Younger" (ca. 4 BC-65 AD)

    “I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” ~ Nathan Hale (final words before being hanged by the British, September 22, 1776.)

    If at first you don't succeed -- skydiving is not for you

  2. #2
    Angels rejoice when BigBears trumpet blows
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    Default

    lol, old but good.

  3. #3
    Thinks Rambo Was A Wussy Ranger's Avatar
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    Default

    Is it? I just got that in my email yesterday and thought it was pretty cute.
    "...quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est." [...a sword never kills anybody; it's a tool in the killer's hand.] -- (Lucius Annaeus) Seneca "the Younger" (ca. 4 BC-65 AD)

    “I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” ~ Nathan Hale (final words before being hanged by the British, September 22, 1776.)

    If at first you don't succeed -- skydiving is not for you

  4. #4
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    Default

    good for a chuckle

  5. #5
    QUITTER Irving's Avatar
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    It was posted in the joke thread a while ago.
    "There are no finger prints under water."

  6. #6
    Thinks Rambo Was A Wussy Ranger's Avatar
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    Default

    Well, good to know there is a joke thread! I should explore the areas on this site more often .
    "...quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est." [...a sword never kills anybody; it's a tool in the killer's hand.] -- (Lucius Annaeus) Seneca "the Younger" (ca. 4 BC-65 AD)

    “I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” ~ Nathan Hale (final words before being hanged by the British, September 22, 1776.)

    If at first you don't succeed -- skydiving is not for you

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