Rgr. Oh man, I'm cracking up just thinking of how wrong and fun a prank like that would be.

Rigger 1: My wife was yelling at me this morning...
Rigger 2: About what man?
New guy: ....
Rigger 1: She said I was a no good dead beat and I should die.
Rigger 2: I hear you man... What'd ya bring for lunch? It's about that time.
New guy: My wife packed me a salami sandwhich! She's a great cook.
Rigger 1: Whoa, settle down young buck. You got the worlds greatest wife huh?... *rummages around in sack and pulls out sandwhich*. Peanut Butter?! GD PB&J?! Why that no good! She knows I'm allergic to Peanuts!!!
Rigger 2: Uh oh, now calm down Jerry. Mike why don't you call teh boss and...
Rigger 1: FFFFUUUU!!!! *Jumps*
Rigger 2: Shit! Not my friend, not you Jerry! I'm coming man, I'm comin'!!! *Jumps*
New Guy: ..... oh my...... shit.....