Joke of the Day

[Irving]

Ha! I like that one.

[theGinsue]

A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"

To which he replied, "That would be fine with me."

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

I told this joke @ work today...twice.

Both times I got "WTF is wrong with you" stares.

Some people don't know good humor - even when it hits them in the face.

[TFOGGER]

- even when it hits them in the face.

[theGinsue]

Glad someone caught that.

[Irving]

I caught it. Caught it right in the face.

[BladesNBarrels]

An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"

He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money."

[BPTactical]

I discovered that EVERY room in my house is in fact, room temperature......





























......except the corners.


They are all 90 degrees.

[BladesNBarrels]

Oh yes, that is along the style of Stephen Wright.
I miss that humor!

[GilpinGuy]

I was in my backyard trying to launch a new kite. I tossed the kite up in the air, then the wind would catch it for a few seconds, and then come crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times, without success.

All the while, my wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yelled to me,

"You need a piece of tail."

I turned with a confused look on my face and yelled back, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."

No wonder I'm confused.....

[GilpinGuy]

A man was telling his buddy, "You won't believe what happened last night!

My daughter walked into the living room and said, ‘Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters Then sell my car, take my front door key away, and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose.’"

"Holy Smokes," replied the friend, " - she actually said all that?"

"Well, she didn't put it quite like that. She actually said: "Dad, meet my new boyfriend, Mohammed. We're going to work together on Elizabeth Warren’s Presidential Campaign."