Haha. BaDum-Tsh
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Welcome to the Colorado AR-15 Shooters Club Discussion Forums.
Haha. BaDum-Tsh
A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he gets it home it bangs all 150 of the farmer's hens. The farmer is impressed. Later in the afternoon it bangs all 150 of the hens again.
The next day after banging the 150 hens it starts screwing ducks and geese on the farm too.
Later that afternoon the farmer finds the rooster laying in the middle of the barnyard passed out and almost dead with vultures circling overhead.
The farmer looks down at him and says "You deserved it, you horny little bastard."
The rooster opens one eye, points up at the sky and says "Shhhh ... they're about to land!"
Modern liberalism is based on the idea that reality is obligated to conform to one's beliefs because; "I have the right to believe whatever I want".
"Everything the State says is a lie, and everything it has it has stolen.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
"Every time something really bad happens, people cry out for safety, and the government answers by taking rights away from good people."
-Penn Jillette
A World Without Guns <- Great Read!
Ouch...Originally Posted by GilpinGuy
The king wanted to go fishing, so he called on the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours.
The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days, So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way he met a farmer on his donkey.
Upon seeing the king the farmer said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area".
The king was polite and considerate, he replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. And besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."
So the king continued on his way. However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.
Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the professional. Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.
The farmer said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."
So the king hired the donkey.
And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions.
The practice is unbroken to this date and thus, the democrat symbol was born!!!
Light a fire for a man, and he'll be warm for a day, light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life...
Discussion is an exchange of intelligence. Argument is an exchange of
ignorance. Ever found a liberal that you can have a discussion with?
Fact ^^^ haha
Duck-a-holic and quack-addict!
Lol TFogger, that's a slight variation on my grandpa's favorite joke. His punchline: "And there have been asses in high places ever since!"
(My mom also tells it describing the rain as "A real gullywasher and trashmover!")
On a flight from LA to Sydney there was this blonde woman sitting in Coach. She got up to go to the bathroom and noticed that there were empty seats in 1st Class so she decided when she finished her business she'd just take one of those empty seats.
Once one of the flight attendants discovered her sitting in the 1st Class seat she said to her "I'm sorry ma'am, but you're going to have to return to your seat in Coach".
The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm going to Sydney".
The flight attendant went to the cabin and told the captain that there was a woman that wouldn't return to her seat in coach.
The captain came back and said to the woman "I'm really sorry, but you paid for a Coach seat, not a 1st Class so you're just going to have to return to your seat."
The blonde replied again obstinately, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm going to Sydney".
The captain went back to the cockpit and told the co-pilot to call ahead to Sydney and have the police ready for when they land and he said "You say she's blonde? I'm married to a blonde, I speak blonde, let me give it a try."
So the co-pilot went back to the lady, whispered something in her ear and she said "Oh, I'm sorry, I'll go back to my seat". She got up and returned to Coach.
The Pilot asked the co-pilot what he said and he replied "I just told her that 1st Class wasn't going to Sydney."
Modern liberalism is based on the idea that reality is obligated to conform to one's beliefs because; "I have the right to believe whatever I want".
"Everything the State says is a lie, and everything it has it has stolen.
-Friedrich Nietzsche
"Every time something really bad happens, people cry out for safety, and the government answers by taking rights away from good people."
-Penn Jillette
A World Without Guns <- Great Read!
Walmart is offering a new service where employees will deliver items to your house on their way home from work.
Not only that, they’ll also deliver the items in a Target bag so your neighbors think you’re classy.
A blonde sees a house on fire, so she dials 911.
Operator: "Hello, what's your emergency?"
Blonde: "There's a house on fire! Send the fire department!"
Operator: "How do we get there?"
Blonde: "Well, DUH! Big red truck! "
Not really a joke, but a comment I saw on a board today and got a chuckle out of:
I once made a comment to my dad about how it's a lot harder for a lady to pee off the side of a boat. He said, "Oh, it's impossible for a lady. But some females can pull it off"
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