Joke of the Day

[merl]

http://www.economist.com/news/leader...maison-blanche

[davsel]

From: http://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vrw3r

I Wish This Guy Was My Neighbor... He's Hilarious!

[Irving]

I can't remember if I've read that before, but I sure laughed pretty hard at this one. Thumbs Up.

[3beansalad]

Wife’s Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing…’
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.




Husband’s Diary:

A five putt… who the f*&k five putts?

[TFOGGER]

I can't remember if I've read that before, but I sure laughed pretty hard at this one. Thumbs Up.

http://www.27bslash6.com/

also home to other gems, like this one:

http://www.27bslash6.com/f26a.html

[brutal]

I can't remember if I've read that before, but I sure laughed pretty hard at this one. Thumbs Up.

It was also posted in a thread here recently. A member was having an issue with a neighbor's yard light.

[theGinsue]

A man was telling his buddy "You won't believe what happened last night.

My daughter walked into the living room and said, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then, sell my car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then, disown me and never talk to me again. Don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose."

"Holy Smokes," replied the friend, "she actually said that?"

"Well, she didn't put it quite like that. She actually said, 'Dad, meet my new boyfriend-- Mohammed. We're going to work together on Hillary's election campaign!'"

[ChunkyMonkey]

A man was telling his buddy "You won't believe what happened last night.

My daughter walked into the living room and said, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then, sell my car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then, disown me and never talk to me again. Don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose."

"Holy Smokes," replied the friend, "she actually said that?"

"Well, she didn't put it quite like that. She actually said, 'Dad, meet my new boyfriend-- Mohammed. We're going to work together on Hillary's election campaign!'"

HA!

[wctriumph]

I read this elsewhere and posted here for your entertainment.

A woman went to her doctor for advice.
She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.
“Do you enjoy it?” the doctor asked.
“Actually, yes, I do” she said.
”Does it hurt you”, he asked?
“No. I rather like it!”
”Well, then,” the doctor continued, “there’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.”
The woman was mystified. “What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?”
“Of course”, the doctor replied.
“Where do you think politicians come from?”

[davsel]