Catholic Joke Day

Joke 1:
Two nuns sat at traffic lights in their car when a car load of
rowdy drunks pulls up alongside.

"Oi, get your tits out, you penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.

The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata,
"I don't think they know who we are - show them your cross".

So Sister Immaculata winds down her window and shouts,
"Screw off you little wankers, before I come over there and rip your balls
off"!

Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother Superior and asks?


Was that cross enough??

Joke 2:
A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.

The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like 'yes, I see,' and 'yes, go on,' and 'I understand.'

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, "No shit, what happened next?"