Joke of the Day

[ClangClang]

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "And yesterday in Iraq, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"Oh my god!" the President exclaims. "How could this have happened?!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "Rummy, you gotta level with me.... how many is a brazillion?"

[Zach O]

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the New York City convention center where he was introduced to a United States Marine Corps General.

As they talked, the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what I have seen in America."

The General said,"Well, Sir, is there anything I can do to help?"

The Iranian whispered, "My son watches this show called 'Star Trek' and in it there is... Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, and Sulu who is Japanese, but there are NO Muslims. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on 'Star Trek'".


The General leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador, and whispered in his ear, "That's because it takes place in the future..."

[William]

The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the New York City convention center where he was introduced to a United States Marine Corps General.

As they talked, the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what I have seen in America."

The General said,"Well, Sir, is there anything I can do to help?"

The Iranian whispered, "My son watches this show called 'Star Trek' and in it there is... Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, and Sulu who is Japanese, but there are NO Muslims. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on 'Star Trek'".


The General leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador, and whispered in his ear, "That's because it takes place in the future..."

Awesome!

[Zundfolge]

... Kirk who is Canadian...

Riverside Iowa is in Canada?

[GilpinGuy]

Job interview:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a damn what you think."

[Irving]

Riverside Iowa is in Canada?

In the future it is.

[GilpinGuy]

I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

[Zach O]

Riverside Iowa is in Canada?

It was all copy and paste. I have never seen a single episode of Star Trek. Hell, I've never seen any Star Wars movies either.

[wctriumph]

It was all copy and paste. I have never seen a single episode of Star Trek. Hell, I've never seen any Star Wars movies either.

Are you female? If not, WTF, over?

[Marine24]

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
�
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!�
�
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
�
�
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs�


�
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:�


�
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
�
�
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
�
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:�


�
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
�
�
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.�
�
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:�
�
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
�
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'�
�
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
�
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
�
�
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:�
�
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


PLEASE NOTE:�
�
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.�
�
The First floor - has wives that love sex.
�
The Second floor - has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
�
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.