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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #801
    Not a Dude ChickNorris's Avatar
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    Want to hear a joke about construction?

    Im working on it.
    My airstream has been stolen by dopers

  2. #802
    Not a Dude ChickNorris's Avatar
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    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return?

    A stick
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  3. #803
    Not a Dude ChickNorris's Avatar
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    How do you guarantee you can brag to your friends after leaving the range?

    Shoot first & then call your targets.
    My airstream has been stolen by dopers

  4. #804
    Not a Dude ChickNorris's Avatar
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    Dwarf shortage.
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  5. #805
    Not a Dude ChickNorris's Avatar
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    How many tickles does it take to make an Octopus giggle?

    Ten tickles.
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  6. #806
    Not a Dude ChickNorris's Avatar
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    Where does a Jersey boy find a Zebra?

    25 letters after 'A' brah.
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  7. #807
    Grand Master Know It All BladesNBarrels's Avatar
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    When a waitress in a New York City restaurant brought an Englishman the soup of the day, he was a bit dismayed.

    "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

    "It's bean soup," she replied.

    "I don't care what it's been," he replied. "What is it now?"
    Buying Randall Made Knives and Randall 1911 Pistols

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  8. #808
    High Power Shooter jslo's Avatar
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    A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

    The little boy says, “Its dark in here.”

    The man says, “Yes, it is.”

    Boy ~ “I have a baseball.”

    Man ~ “That’s nice.”

    Boy ~ “Want to buy it?”

    Man ~ “No, thanks.”

    Boy ~ “My dad’s outside.”

    Man ~ “OK, how much?”

    Boy ~ “$250?

    In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

    Boy ~ “Its dark in here.”

    Man ~ “Yes, it is.”

    Boy ~ “I have a baseball glove.”

    The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”

    Boy ~ “$750?

    Man ~ “Fine.”

    A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”

    The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my baseball and my glove.”

    The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”

    Boy ~ “$1,000?

    The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that… that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

    They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

    The boy says, “Dark in here.”

    The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again.”

  9. #809
    Not a Dude ChickNorris's Avatar
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    Why do dwarves giggle when they play soccer?

    The grass tickles thier balls.
    My airstream has been stolen by dopers

  10. #810
    Not a Dude ChickNorris's Avatar
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    What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?

    Cherry float
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