Joke of the Day

[ChickNorris]

Whats the difference between love, true love & showing off?


Spitting, swallowing and gargling

[ChickNorris]

What do you get a man who has everything?


Penicillin

[ChickNorris]

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?


You can unscrew a light bulb.

[ChickNorris]

A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island.

One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled
- Stop making love down there!

- What?s the matter with you? The husband said when the sailor climbed down.
- We weren?t making love.

- Sorry, said the sailor,
- From up there it looked like you were.

Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top. The husband says to himself,

- By golly he?s right! It DOES look like they?re making love down there!

[Irving]

What's the difference between a washer and an 18 year-old girl?






The washer doesn't follow you around telling you it loves you after to dump a load into it.

[Scanker19]

What did the cannibal say while eating a clown?

Anyone else think this tastes a little funny.

Ugh, terrible.

Two cannibals were eating Amy Schumer. One says to the other, ‘’does this taste funny to you?’’ The other cannibal says, ‘’no, not at all.’’

[ChickNorris]

How many gorillas fit into an average car?

Eight.

How many chickens will fit into the same car?

None. Its full of gorillas silly.

[ChickNorris]

A girl asks a boy: - How much do you love me?

The boy looks her in the eyes: - Look up at the stars, that's how much I love you.

The girl is confused: - But it's morning, there are no stars?

Boy nods.

[ChickNorris]

A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.

[ChickNorris]

Knock knock

..............Who's there

Opportunity

.............. Bullsh*t