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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #171
    DSB, Monky, & Spyder's Main Squeeze patrick0685's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bailey Guns View Post
    Another one?
    apparently baby seals are dumb
    My Feedback

    "I don't listen to the women I do know, why would I listen to some crazy bitch from the ocean?" ~ Spyder

  2. #172
    Machine Gunner
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    A new truck driver is rolling down the highway when he feels a bump. He pulls over and checks his rig, then calls into dispatch. "I have hit a pig and he is stuck under my truck. What shall I do?"


    Dispatch tells him to throw the pig into the trailer and bring it in so they can decide what to do.


    He then asks, "What shall I do with his motorcycle???"
    Brian H
    Longmont CO

    "I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do."

  3. #173
    Bat Poop Crazy Mofo
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    I saw that one comming! Thats Bad! But I like it.

  4. #174
    QUITTER Irving's Avatar
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    Fake. No truck driver uses the word "shall."
    "There are no finger prints under water."

  5. #175
    Grand Master Know It All DOC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Irving View Post
    Fake. No truck driver uses the word "shall."
    You never heard them say "I need to gas up."
    "Are you going to conaco?"
    "Nope Shall."
    Who are you to want to escape a thugs bullet? That is only a personal prejudice, ( Atlas Shrugged)
    "Those that don't watch the old media are uninformed, those that do watch the old media are misinformed." - Mark Twain

  6. #176
    QUITTER Irving's Avatar
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    Haha!
    "There are no finger prints under water."

  7. #177
    Stamp Licker/Whore TriggerHappy's Avatar
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    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs at the front door??
















    ........Matt.

  8. #178
    Machine Gunner
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    Quote Originally Posted by TriggerHappy View Post
    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs at the front door??
















    ........Matt.
    and if he's hanging on the wall???????

    Art

    or in the ocean?

    Bob
    Brian H
    Longmont CO

    "I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do."

  9. #179
    CO303303
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    kinda funny.

  10. #180
    Rebuilt from Salvage TFOGGER's Avatar
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    Resurrecting this one...we need more light stuff.

    MURPHY'S OTHER LAWS:

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxx





    1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.



    2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.



    3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.



    4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.



    5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.



    6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.



    7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.



    8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.



    9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.



    10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.



    11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.



    12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.



    13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.




    14. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.



    15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
















    Last edited by TFOGGER; 01-08-2013 at 10:44.
    Light a fire for a man, and he'll be warm for a day, light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life...

    Discussion is an exchange of intelligence. Argument is an exchange of
    ignorance. Ever found a liberal that you can have a discussion with?

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