Gun Shows

[StagLefty]

Pretty funny I thought :
Some of the personalities you may run into include:

1.Fat old white guys with Harley shirts and stretch-waist jeans engaged in open carry (zip tie through the action)? Check.

2.Skinny young black guys in baggy FUBU clothes and a big chain necklace checking out chromed Desert Eagles? Check.

3.Ugly, pale, maybe-pregnant trailer trash girls in halter tops and short-shorts wandering aimlessly? Check.

4.Asian tourist (sans camera) looking at the amazing array of tools of barbarity used in America? Check.

5.Guys of all ages and races dressed as cowboys and looking at SASS (Single Action Shooting Society) cowboy guns? Check.

6.Super rich fat bald guy in khaki shorts and polo (drives H2) that makes it clear to everybody he owns REAL MACHINE GUNS? Check.

7.Militant lesbian couple with matching neck tattoos and 400 ear piercings picking out Glock 26s? Check.

8.Scrawny white kid with goatee wearing “tactical clothes” and cheap nylon drop leg holster for no legitimate reason? Check.

9.Nerdy middle-aged, middle-class white guy looking for a Mossberg 500 for home defense? Check.
Goth kid sitting in the corner, staring at the floor? He doesn’t even really like guns but he’s here because his brother is. Check.

10.Guys from the nearest military base (or police station) browsing up and down the aisles laughing at the gimmicky hardware? Check.

11.Obese guys that used to be in the military sporting jackets with 500 patches and talking about all the tactical action they saw in the ’80s? Check.

12.Ancient white guy (must be 70+) wandering the aisles with a muzzle-up’d beater rifle from the 1920s, FOR SALE sign on the barrel? Check.

13.The white high school kid who learned everything he has to know about weapons from Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 trying to explain how recoil works and what you can do to fight it. Check.

14.The “south will rise again” guy, normally between 350-450 pounds, wearing a confederate hat and sweat-stained grey Walmart sweatpants. He talks about old Bobby Lee like an old friend he hasn’t seen in awhile and how he is looking forward to the next American civil war where he is going to single handily kick the crap out of every government agency himself. Check

15.Security guards (obviously from somewhere other than the show), dressed in “full uniform”, going around picking up and trying out everything with the word “tactical” on the tag. Check.

Some of the Vendors:

1.Hi-point vendor who will tell you he’s sold thousands of them and has never heard a single complaint about them breaking or jamming.Check.

2.“Historical” vendors selling every type of item they could find with a swastika or a confederate flag on it.Check.

3.Grumpy old *******. He has a table full of cheap shotguns and rifles in poor condition and yells at anyone who touches them. He firmly believes the rusting Mossberg 500 is worth every penny of the $350 he’s asking for it.Check.

4.Overworked knife guy. He has six tables loaded with closed cases, and is the only one working the booth. If you wish to buy from him, you’ll have a 30 min wait.Check.

5.Ammo purgatory. He has a huge display with every type of ammo anyone could want – set up with absolutely no order to any of it.Check.

6.The six dozen displays that have ZERO firearms but every bubba’d accessory known to man (and then some).Check.

7.The crazy/political/oathkeeper/threeper vendor. You can’t even get a price check from this guy without him starting on some political tirade or delving into some weirdo conspiracy theory. He’ll often make vague or ambiguous comments while giving you a knowing look or wink (while you’ve got no idea what he’s talking about).Check.
Beef jerky!!!Check.

[glock21]

Wow I can actually visualize every one like I'm there looking at them Hahaha

[tmckay2]

yeah same here. half of them you see five seconds in the door

[ShooterChick]

did you go to tanner today? Cause I saw all those people and more!! The 16 yr old looking kid running around with an h&k rifle flagging everyone around him..... Crazy people there..... Also the guy walking around with an ar upper and a for sale sign..... Makes for an interesting day

[glock21]

8.Scrawny white kid with goatee wearing “tactical clothes” and cheap nylon drop leg holster for no legitimate reason? Check.

15.Security guards (obviously from somewhere other than the show), dressed in “full uniform”, going around picking up and trying out everything with the word “tactical” on the tag. Check.


these two are my favorite, i do security work also and theres at least 2 in every job, they have there honda accord all light up with strobes and scanner radio, they wear there work boots everyday cause they say it makes them look like a cop and they wear there secutity badges on a chain around there neck hahahaha

[jweinsteiger]

This is to funny and dead on the mark!

I miss the days of finding mom and pop selling off their personal stuff you could actually find a deal or two. Though I must admit I found a M1A National Match at the last show I was at selling for $1750 not a bad price. The guy with the knifes was trying to sell me a S&W knife at about $10 over msrp..

[Limited GM]

I could so place a face with every single description. Had me worried I was the next guy on the list.

[Irving]

I wonder how many of those I've been.

[StagLefty]

I seem to manage to meet # 13 all the time !!

[Mtn.man]

So the camo bikini girls weren't there this time?