oh hell this is funny

[cleaner72]

Home Made Mushroom Cloud





Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little bad-ass compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farm-all tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down?

Tough sumbich.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old "Dukes of Hazard" fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Let's face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too.

Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH s**t! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can.

Oh Sh*t.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual concussion wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big sweet-gum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That son-of-a-***** got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating.

Or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

[funkfool]

Sounds vaugely familiar.

[2ndChildhood]

Good one.

Reminds me of the time we were in the garage writing our names on the floor with lighter fluid and then lighting it.

[Zundfolge]

Ha! reminds me of an incident in my youth out at Grandma's farm ... it involved some shotgun shells, black powder, model rocket engines PVC pipe and a derelict Studebaker. Not gonna go into it because it was probably an NFA violation (but hey, I was 12).

[CrufflerSteve]

You can do amazing things with a glass gallon jug completely filled with gasoline, with the air all out under the cap. Tape an M80 to the top with a long fuse. Light it and run like hell. From what I think now, the blast pushed it down and out and then ignited it. Black mushroom cloud. There was an old closed factory in my home town. Acres of crumbling asphalt. It was mucho impressive but we didn't get to stand around and admire it since cops and firemen came so we had to haul ass out of there.

Steve

[Beprepared]

Thats some funny stuff! Glad you made it. Ahhh the stuff of a Dukes of Hazard/Macgyver childhood.

[BPTactical]

Two pounds of FF black powder, one section of 2" waterpipe and caps, 1 foot of cannon fuse and a partially built house.
Add two stupid 13 year olds and a lighter.

Did you ever see "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"? The scene where they attempted to open the safe in the RR car.

It was about a mile from my buddies house and I think we covered that distance in about 2 minutes.

A few years later I was helping a buddy with his Dodge that had 44" tires. One had gone flat and lost the seat of the bead. We tried to reseat it numerous times with no luck. I remembered when the tire shop mounted my tires and they used ether and a match to seat the bead.
So I explained the process to my buddy and he goes and gets a can of starting fluid. We contrive the plan-he shoots the ether and I toss the match. I really didnt pay attention just how much ether the tire shop had used and more is better right?
My buddy sprays about half the can and I toss the match.
KABOOM!
I opened my eyes to see my buddy sitting about 5 feet from the truck on his ass with the most classic "deer in headlights" look. We both look at the truck and the tire is nowhere to be found. We look across the shop about 50 feet away and there is the tire laying on its side with just a wisp of smoke coming out of it. He looks at me and says "Just like the tire shop huh?"
We start laughing so hard we both are crying.
To this day all either one of us has to say is: "Just like the tire store" and we both start laughing.

Upside down 35 gallon trash cans and an oxy/acytelyne rig has redeeming qualities as well, you just have to watch the can as it is coming down.

Good times and damn lucky to have survived.

[sniper7]

had me rolling!

and I thought my mini mushroom clouds that engulfed the deck thanks to a tonka truck, black powder and matches was a big one!

[Irving]

My most entertaining story (which pales in comparison to everyone else's) happened last spring.

[68Charger]

My most entertaining story (which pales in comparison to everyone else's) happened last spring.

umm, that's NOT sharing... just teasing.

I've got a couple stories beyond the statute of limitations that I could share, but wanna know what's behind this, too.. :0