Lame Joke of the day....

[Ronin13]

Love the Obama ones from night show hosts!
Kinda long, but always funny:
A penguin's car breaks down and he takes it to a mechanic. The mechanic says it'll take about 30 min to diagnose what's wrong and they can go from there. So the penguin goes across the street to a Baskin Robbins to kill time. He comes back after eating his ice cream and the mechanic has his answer.
"It looks like you blew a seal." Said the mechanic.
The penguin replies, "Oh no, this is just ice cream."

[Byte Stryke]

Love the Obama ones from night show hosts!
Kinda long, but always funny:
A penguin's car breaks down and he takes it to a mechanic. The mechanic says it'll take about 30 min to diagnose what's wrong and they can go from there. So the penguin goes across the street to a Baskin Robbins to kill time. He comes back after eating his ice cream and the mechanic has his answer.
"It looks like you blew a seal." Said the mechanic.
The penguin replies, "Oh no, this is just ice cream."

[275RLTW]

Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?
So they can hide in cherry trees.

Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?
'Cause it fucking works!

What's the brown stuff between the elephant's toe nails?
Slow natives.

What's the occaissional white stuff?
Slow white hunters.

What does an elephant use for kotex?
Sheep.

[Ronin13]

'Nother longer one, but I just found it in an old email:
Three pieces of rope (humor me) walk into a bar and the bartender tells them to get out, they don't serve rope. Outside they try to figure how they're going to get in. The first one puts on sunglasses and tries to go in disguised. Bartender says: "I already told you, we don't serve your kind." 2nd piece puts on a Hawaiian shirt and tries to get in. Same effect. 3rd one ties himself and messes up his hair. He walks in and the bartender says, "I thought I told your two buddies, we don't serve your kind here... you are a rope aren't you?"
The 3rd rope replies, "Frayed Knot."

[Big Wall]

A noble gas walks into a bar.
The bartender says "We dont serve your type in here."
The noble gas was non-reactive.

[Irving]

When you're 20, you brag to all your friends about the time you did the Reverse Cowgirl.

When you're 80, you brag to all your friends about your Reverse Mortgage.




I just made that up.

[Scanker19]

A guy walks into a bar...


And says OUCH

[TDYRanger]

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean
and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
--Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel

Ouch! it's so funny because it's so true

[275RLTW]

Did you hear about the new lap dance they are doing at strip clubs? It's called the "Casey Anthony"

It takes 11 hours and they promise you will get off.

[Byte Stryke]

There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those that understand Binary and those that don't