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  1. 05-20-2011, 12:43 #1
    Mtn.man
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    Default More on the economy

    EMPLOYEE NOTICE

    **********************

    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

    This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

    Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under theSCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

    A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

    Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

    Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED orSCREWED any further by Congress.

    Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

    Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all theSHIT you can handle.

    Sincerely,
    The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

    PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
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  2. 05-20-2011, 12:54 #2
    Cman
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    Default

    [rofl1]
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  3. 05-20-2011, 14:06 #3
    Lex_Luthor
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    Default

    HAHA that was funny. I wonder who sits around and comes up with this kinda stuff.
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  4. 05-21-2011, 08:42 #4
    patrick0685
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    hahaha
    My Feedback

    "I don't listen to the women I do know, why would I listen to some crazy bitch from the ocean?" ~ Spyder
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  5. 05-21-2011, 09:03 #5
    alxone
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mtn.man View Post
    Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
    my favorite part
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  6. 05-21-2011, 10:07 #6
    islandermyk
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    that was good... [lol]
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  7. 05-21-2011, 20:13 #7
    Tweety Bird
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    Default

    Also:

    The beatings will continue until morale improves.
    Dan

    Flying an airplane is just like riding a bicycle; it's just a lot harder to put cards in the spokes. - AIRPLANE! - 1980

    Blinkin! Fix your boobs! You look like a bleedin' Picasso! - Robin Hood: Men in Tights, 1993

    Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. - November, 2008
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  8. 05-22-2011, 08:26 #8
    waxthis
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    [rofl3]
    "An individual is only entiteld to one's rights as long as one respects the rights of others."...R.F.
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  9. 05-22-2011, 08:58 #9
    roberth
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    When it comes to Obama - "moron the economy" says it all.
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  10. 05-22-2011, 10:55 #10
    mx'r
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    Pure Awesome.
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