Why Education is Bad:

[Bailey Guns]

I recommend spending your kid's college fund money on fun stuff...guns, boats, drugs, fast cars, Harleys...anything but education. Here's why:

Education leads to learning how to do stuff, like writing.

When one learns to write one requires instruments, like pens, with which to write.

Education sometimes leads people to acquire certain niceties...like a washing machine.

With education and employment you become, at least somewhat, attractive as a mate to women.

Women like to do things like quilting. Spending hours upon hours of their time painstakingly and lovingly cutting up and sewing back together little pieces of fabric. They put their entire souls into their craft.

Quilts require washing, in the washing machine, when finished.

Sometimes, men being men, they leave their pens, acquired directly as a result of education and learning how to communicate through the written word, in a pocket.

Then they put the garment concealing the pen into the washing machine.

The pen explodes and leaves ink residue in the washer. Liquid ink residue. It lies dormant, patiently waiting to be called upon to wreak destruction on the next item, innocently and unsuspectingly, placed in the washer by the wife.

An item which happens to be a handcrafted quilt. Made by your wife.

Few things sound like the shrieks of a woman staring at a bright-blue-ink stained, hand-crafted quilt. You'll know it when you hear it...even if you've never heard it before. And if you don't recognize it by the sound, you'll recognize the head spinning round on the shoulders. It's a frightening audible and visual experience not unlike watching Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

All this leads to the requirement of an entirely different class of professional worker.

Divorce lawyers. Oh...and paramedics. (Just kidding...I don't really need a divorce lawyer)

So, I'd advise you to drop out of school and avoid education at all costs. It only leads to trouble.

And use a pencil if you have to write.

[mopar]

Did you require treatment from paramedics?

[Bailey Guns]

Only long enough to get me to the proctologist so he could remove the pen from my ***.

[sneakerd]

This won't hurt a bit.............

[cebeu]

"...learning how to do stuff, like writing."

Like cursive? Doesn’t matter write...errrr...right?

Ya’ know…I’ve been thinkin’…this recent trend of extracting cursive from primary curriculum has me wonderin’…if little Johnny, or little Sheneeqwa, or little Habib, or little Jose [or ?] can no longer produce cursive, how the f*** are they going to sign that government check?

Maybe an “X”…

Oh…yeah…I forgot…they’ll e-sign and transact with that government provided mobile device I’ll be paying for, never mind.

[Ah Pook]

Are you allowed out of the dog house yet?

[Irving]

You should have said, "I tell you what honey, for the first time, I think that quilt is starting to actually look nice."

[theGinsue]

You should have said, "I tell you what honey, for the first time, I think that quilt is starting to actually look nice."

I'm guessing that she would have put the pen in sideways had he made that statement.

[SA Friday]

What kind of pen? Different inks dissolve in diffent solvents. If it was a sharpie, try a cheap pump bottle of white rain (or equally cheap) hair spray. The carrier to keep the hair spray dissolved just happens to be the same solvent as the sharpies ink. If really persistent ink, pure acetone may work, but you run a bigger risk of bugger in up the inks in the swatches on the quilt with the pure acetone.

Some other inks dissolve better in semi-polar solvents. A really good semi-polar solvent to try is acetic acid, distilled white vinegar.

Last, try a fully non polar solvent, mineral spirits would be the first of these I would try.

Hey, your in the dog house. If one of these works, you might get to sleep back inside again. It's already toast, right? Test small spots that are on the edges of the quilt first to see if they will effect the fabric coloring and the ink. Then go from there.

[SA Friday]

Damn, I just thought of something. Maybe you better not try any of it. I learned all that in college chemistry classes.