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Chuck Norris's Daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Once Death had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris can turn off the light and kick your ass before the room gets dark.
Who are you to want to escape a thugs bullet? That is only a personal prejudice, ( Atlas Shrugged)
"Those that don't watch the old media are uninformed, those that do watch the old media are misinformed." - Mark Twain
My son left his Chuck Norris action figure in my Daughter's room now all of her Barbies are pregnant.
Chuck Norris named his legs Law and Order and in middle that's named Special Victims Unit.
Who are you to want to escape a thugs bullet? That is only a personal prejudice, ( Atlas Shrugged)
"Those that don't watch the old media are uninformed, those that do watch the old media are misinformed." - Mark Twain
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands... They are now known as the Islands.
Chuck Norris put Humpty Dumpty back together again
"...quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est." [...a sword never kills anybody; it's a tool in the killer's hand.] -- (Lucius Annaeus) Seneca "the Younger" (ca. 4 BC-65 AD)
“I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” ~ Nathan Hale (final words before being hanged by the British, September 22, 1776.)
If at first you don't succeed -- skydiving is not for you
Chuck Norris doesn't need a control key on his keyboard because he is always in control.
"...quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est." [...a sword never kills anybody; it's a tool in the killer's hand.] -- (Lucius Annaeus) Seneca "the Younger" (ca. 4 BC-65 AD)
“I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” ~ Nathan Hale (final words before being hanged by the British, September 22, 1776.)
If at first you don't succeed -- skydiving is not for you
Chuck Norris attacks sharks when he smells them bleed.
"...quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est." [...a sword never kills anybody; it's a tool in the killer's hand.] -- (Lucius Annaeus) Seneca "the Younger" (ca. 4 BC-65 AD)
“I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” ~ Nathan Hale (final words before being hanged by the British, September 22, 1776.)
If at first you don't succeed -- skydiving is not for you
Tapeworms give food to Chuck Norris.
"...quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est." [...a sword never kills anybody; it's a tool in the killer's hand.] -- (Lucius Annaeus) Seneca "the Younger" (ca. 4 BC-65 AD)
“I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” ~ Nathan Hale (final words before being hanged by the British, September 22, 1776.)
If at first you don't succeed -- skydiving is not for you
Chuck Norris' account at match.com was immediately teminated because no one is a match for Chuck Norris.
"...quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est." [...a sword never kills anybody; it's a tool in the killer's hand.] -- (Lucius Annaeus) Seneca "the Younger" (ca. 4 BC-65 AD)
“I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” ~ Nathan Hale (final words before being hanged by the British, September 22, 1776.)
If at first you don't succeed -- skydiving is not for you
Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten
"...quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est." [...a sword never kills anybody; it's a tool in the killer's hand.] -- (Lucius Annaeus) Seneca "the Younger" (ca. 4 BC-65 AD)
“I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” ~ Nathan Hale (final words before being hanged by the British, September 22, 1776.)
If at first you don't succeed -- skydiving is not for you
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